Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
Tom's Dispatch has a classic example of the Republican government in action. Apparently, while it's completely okay for the U.S. government to listen to anyone's phone conversation they want to, the names and positions of the people who work for Dick Cheney are a state secret. Given that the Vice President's office is not supposed to be a clandestine organization and that it is the taxpayers (not the oil companies) that pay their salaries, shouldn't these names be a matter of public record?

Pirates swash has not buckled
Kevin Wood / Daily Yomiuri Staff Writer

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
4 stars out of five
Dir: Gore Verbinski
Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley


It may not be the greatest swashbuckling pirate film of all time or the greatest supernatural thriller of all time, but it's definitely the best film in its genre.

Admittedly, it is a small subcategory to dominate, but 2003's Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is by far the best film ever made based on a Disney amusement park attraction.

Its sequel, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, has replaced it at the top of a slightly larger genre--the best pirate movie of the last 20 years, possibly the best since 1950's Treasure Island and the best film combining pirates, horror and comedy ever made. Dead Man's Chest also has the additional distinction of featuring the best film performance ever by a man with an octopus for a head.

Dead Man's Chest picks up where The Curse of the Black Pearl left off. Freedom-and-rum loving Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is at sea in The Black Pearl, and poor-but-honest blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) is about to marry Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), the spirited daughter of the governor of Jamaica. Enter the bad guys and before you can say, "Ahrr, matey" a complicated interlocking set of problems is set in motion.

Thirteen years ago, Sparrow sold his soul to become captain of the Pearl, and now his debt has come due, with the collection notice served by Will's not-quite-dead pirate father (Stellan Skarsgard), appropriately, in the spirit locker of the Pearl. Unless he can cut a new deal, Sparrow must join the crew of the damned sailing the supernatural Flying Dutchman under the command of the dreaded cephalopod-headed Davy Jones (the one with the famous locker, not the lead singer of the Monkees).

Meanwhile back in Kingston, Will and Elizabeth's wedding has been interrupted and the not-so-happy couple clapped in irons by Lord Beckett of the East India Trading Company. It seems Sparrow has something the company wants and Beckett will happily hang Elizabeth unless Will hunts down the pirate and brings him back.

Things get more and more complicated as Sparrow's nemesis, ex-Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport) turns up in an unexpected way and Elizabeth escapes and goes after Will and Sparrow. The numerous plot twists make the story tough to follow at times, but Dead Man's Chest makes wonderfully inventive use of a wide variety of seagoing folklore and legends, twisting archetypes and cliches to suit its purpose. There are jailbreaks, cannibal cults, double-dealing, sea monsters, narrow escapes, tavern brawls, ghosts, voodoo sorceresses and action aplenty.

The action set pieces, such as a three-way swordfight inside and on top of a rolling waterwheel and a battle with the gigantic ship-crushing kraken (best performance by a giant squid since 1954's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) provide the adrenaline that keeps Dead Man's Chest moving at a breakneck pace. The special effects are top-notch and the score, cinematography and set design all add polish to a gem of an adventure film.

At the heart of any good action franchise are good characters, and Pirates is no different. Depp delights as the lovable scoundrel Sparrow, a performance he reportedly based on Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. Bloom and Knightly are solid as the truehearted hero and heroine.

Special credit should go to Bill Nighy, who is marvelously menacing as Davy Jones, though how he manages to perform with such subtlety through so much makeup is a mystery.

As the disgraced Commodore Norrington, Davenport puts an admirable amount of meat on the bones of a character who was little more than a cardboard cutout in the first film. Other minor characters returning from the first film include the buccaneer Laurel-and-Hardy duo of Mackenzie Crook and Lee Arenberg, who add plenty of additional laughs.
While the sequel lacks some of the chemistry of the original, it doesn't lack humor. The biggest laughs tend to be throwaway lines like Jonathan Pryce's "I am still the governor you know! Why do you think I'm wearing this wig?" or Sparrow's inebriated Grouchoesque attempt at seducing Elizabeth when she comes aboard the Pearl in men's clothing: "My dear, those clothes don't flatter you at all. For a lady such as yourself, it should be a dress or nothing. Fortunately, I happen to have no dress in my cabin."

While the story has some stumbling points (Why do Davy Jones and his cursed crew continue to sail? Why is the East India Trading Company made out to be villainous while the colonialist British Empire is not? Why didn't the cannibals eat the pirates straight away?) and the pace is relentless, the only real problem with Dead Man's Chest is the lack of a satisfying ending. After 2-1/2 hours, the movie does not so much end as just stop after setting the stage for a third Pirates of the Caribbean film (already filmed and due out next spring).


Addendum
I don't generally hold with the opinions of professional assassins when it comes to movies, and I disagree with his overall opinion, the ninja has a very funny review of this movie

You have to be carefully taught
Peace in the Middle East is not going to happen because of a treaty or because of a wall or because one group largely exterminates another. It is going to happen when the number of people on each side who consider those on the other side to be just as human as themselves outnumber those who hate and dehumanize their opponents. A lot of those who side with Israel like to criticize the Palestinians for "raising a generation of terrorists" in the refugee camps in Gaza and the West Bank. They love to post pictures of Palestinian toddlers waving toy guns and "death to Israel" signs to prove their point. Corrente, with a very graphic selection of photos, shows the Palestinians are not only ones teaching their children to hate.

You've got to be taught
To hate and fear
You've got to be taught
From year to Year
It's got to be drummed
in your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught
To be Afraid
Of people whose eyes
are oddly made
And people whose skin
Is a different shade
You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught
Before it's too late
Before you are 6 or 7 or 8
To hate all the people
your relatives hate
You've got to be carefully taught
-Rogers and Hammerstien

Geography lesson
Remember when the U.S. precision bombed the Chinese embassy in Belgrade and blamed inaccurate maps for mistargetting? We keep seeing surveys about how a lot of people in the U.S. lack a knowledge of the world outside the U.S. and seem, like their president, to be more than a little trigger happy when it comes to going to war, but I've never really believed that there are Americans aside from the small minority who eat paint chips and call talk radio shows who truely can't find Iran on a map and think their country should go to war with France. This clip from Australian Television shows how wrong I am.

Deja vu all over again
This is every argument you've ever read online and every discussion you've ever had with a "rock-ribbed" Republican, Reform Party member or Fox News fan.

(thanks to Canadian Cynic for pointing the way)

RIP Roger "Syd" Barrett
One of the prime movers of the musical side of the psychedelic movement and co-founder of Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett, died of complication of diabetes after many years of mental illness. Shine on you crazy diamond. "Piper at the Gates of Dawn" is still one of the best albums of the 60s

the shaggs

This one is for Jesse Glass and outsider music fans everywhere. I recently read a great book on outsider music, which featured the Shaggs, titled "Songs in the key of Z" by Irwin Chusid. Other outsider musicians featured in the book include Syd Barrett, Captain Beefheart, Daniel Johnson, Tiny Tim and more....

My own private Monkey Tuesday
I'm sure this story will make it on to the Penn Jillette radio show. How could he possibly turn down a story about monkeys paying for sex?
(with thanks to the Galloping Beaver)

Surfing on the wave of the apocalypse

While waiting for defective North Korean missiles to come raining down on us, I used the time to do a little surfing and found a few prime examples of the republican zeitgiest

First we have the Prairie Muffin Manifesto on how to become the Church Lady version of a Stepford Wife. Some highlights:

"3) Prairie Muffins are aware that God is in control of their ability to conceive and bear children, and they are content to allow Him to bless them as He chooses in this area."

"17) Prairie Muffins place their husbands' needs and desires above other obligations, arranging their schedules and responsibilities so that they do not neglect the one who provides for and protects them and their children."

"18) Prairie Muffins are fiercely submissive to God and to their husbands."

"19) Prairie Muffins appreciate godly role models, such as Anne Bradstreet, Elizabeth Prentiss and Elisabeth Elliot. They do not idolize Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie) or Louisa May Alcott (Little Women); while they may enjoy aspects of home life presented in their books, PMs understand that the latent humanism and feminism in these stories and in the lives of these women is not worthy of emulation."

"Fiercely submissive" Whisky-Tango-Foxtrot? is that like jumbo shrimp or Progressive Conservative? If it weren't for the wholly crappy page design and the super-earnest tone, I'd suspect the `Prairie Muffin Manifesto' was a parody site. Check it out for yourself.

Next we have this boot-polishing, racist, cop fetishist who seems to have a beef with anyone from New Orleans
When will the good people of this country stand up and be heard, and tell the Katrina parasites from Louisiana to go home? Mr. Nagin, you owe the rest of the country more than you can ever repay. You’ve got what you wanted, a subservient welfare culture, and you had them all bussed back to vote your dumbass back into office. Now, why don’t you send those busses back to where your voters now live, and make them come back home? You and your state’s Democratic policies are what have fostered this welfare, “gimme” mentality, and the rest of us are paying a very dear price for it.

A possible new candidate for King of the Dumbasses - Sen. Ted Stevens, explains the internet:

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially. So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes

You go girl!
Heather Mallick bitch-slaps (no pun intended) REAL women into a quivering mess over their decidedly anti-equality (what the "ladies" would call counter-feminist) agenda. Hit'em with the chair Heather!

Groups like this that formed back the last neocon heyday of the Mulroney-Reagan-Thatcher years are now rearing their ugly little heads again, now that Harper is playing to them, first to win power and now in pursuit of a majority. Mulroney famously said "give us five years and you won't recognize this country." We (and by we I mean all you morons who voted for the Chin-that-walked-like-a-man, I sure as hell didn't vote for him. I campaigned against him in high school.) gave him nearly twice that and some things still won't ever be the same. It took a dozen years just to undo the worst of the damage and we still have the GST, NAFTA and western separatism. At least Martin balanced the budget.

Souvenir of Canada Teaser

Happy Canada day everyone.

God's favorite band
is coming to Japan

The Asylum Street Spankers will be making their triumphant return to the land of the rising sun in September. Quick, somebody call Kirin Breweries and tell them to start an extra couple of batches and book me a suite at the Betty Ford Clinic for October.

9.9.06 Saturday Sayama, Japan Hyde Park Music Festival
9.11.06 Monday Kanazawa, Japan Mokkiriya Jazz Bar
9.12.06 Tuesday Osaka, Japan Shinsaibashi Club Quattro
9.13.06 Wednesday Hiroshima, Japan Club Quattro
9.14.06 Thursday Kyoto, Japan Taku Taku
9.15.06 Friday Nagoya, Japan Tokuzo
9.17.06 Sunday Tokyo, Japan Shibuya Club Quattro
9.18.06 Monday Yokohama, Japan Thumbs Up

the perfect podcast
One part goofiness
One part cocktail recipies
One part luscious LaLa
Visit the Tiki Bar

It's not the heat, it's the stupidity



The results of the Konservative home-skooling movement?

IN YOUR EAR
Kevin Wood / Daily Yomiuri Staff Writer
NEIL YOUNG
Living with War

Warner Music, 2,580 yen

Neil Young's latest album Living with War is about as subtle as a Molotov cocktail through your front window.

With song titles such as "Let's Impeach the President," and "Lookin' for a Leader" it's obvious that Young is not a fan of the current occupant of the White House. Living with War is a passionate, angry broadside of invective, irony and sarcasm backed by buzzing guitars and a 100-voice choir.

Protest music is generally about rallying those sympathetic to the singer's cause either with humor--as in the case of Phil Ochs' "Draft Dodger Rag"--or by tugging at the audience's heartstrings, as Bob Dylan does with "Masters of War." Young does both on Living with War.
On "Shock and Awe" he wails about "Thousands of children scarred for life/Millions of tears for a soldier's wife" while on "Let's Impeach the President" Young chants "flip" and "flop" over comically contradictory sound bites from the president.

Musically, Living with War is reminiscent of Young's work just before the last war in Iraq on albums such as Freedom and Ragged Glory with lots of thrashing, distorted guitars and midtempo grooves that were the hallmark of Crazy Horse. "Flags of Freedom" is so melodically similar to Dylan's "Chimes of Freedom" it can only be a homage.

Young also makes good use of the trumpet of Tommy Bray, which transforms the minor key grunge of "Shock and Awe" into something that sounds like an excerpt from an Ennio Morricone soundtrack to a spaghetti western.

Fans of George W. Bush will hate this album, but for anyone else who likes their rock with a little righteous fury, as Young once sang: "This Note's For You."

DIXIE CHICKS
Taking the Long Way
Sony Music, 2,520 yen


Another album unlikely to make it onto the presidential playlist is the latest from the Dixie Chicks.

Already a top country act, the Chicks were thrust into the international media spotlight in March 2003 when lead singer Natalie Maines said at a concert in London, she was "ashamed the president [was] from Texas" on the eve of the invasion of Iraq. The backlash was akin to imposing the death penalty for a parking violation. The band was boycotted by country radio and publicly branded as traitors or worse by Republican talk-radio cheerleaders, even receiving death threats.

Taking the Long Way shows the experience had a strong effect on the band. Working with producer Rick Rubin (Metallica, Beastie Boys, Neil Diamond) the former bluegrass phenoms have dialled back the Dixie and moved to the middle of the road, bidding good riddance to the conservative country fans who turned on them. While there isn't a single track with a political agenda, nearly half the songs on the album refer in some way to the intense vilification they suffered, with the first single off the album "Not Ready to Make Nice" a defiant telling off of their detractors.

While the album has been a huge hit in North America, the move into the mainstream has turned the trio a bit bland. The pleasing countrified vocal harmonies are still there, but the band's old instrumental verve has become adult-contemporary vanilla, expertly produced to the point of slickness. Several of the songs, especially "Baby Hold On" and "I Like It," are little more than pop-country cliches.

Taking the Long Way is music for mom to play in the minivan while driving the kids to soccer practice.
(Jun. 24, 2006)

Peace takes courage
Watch this brief presentation, which is not for the faint of heart. Get mad as hell and do something about it.

Who are you calling "pussy"?
Apparently they breed them tough in New Jersey. Jack is not a cat you'd want to meet in a dark alley. One can only wonder what the dogs are like in this neighbourhood.



Jack, a 15-pound orange-and-white cat, cat sits under a treed black bear in a backyard in West Milford, N.J., Sunday, June 4, 2006. When the bear climbed down, the cat chased it up another nearby tree. Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat. The cat's owners called it away and the bear ran off. (AP Photo/Suzanne Giovanetti)

Eight random things about me
Having been tagged by Apathetic Nation I am duty bound to reveal eight startlingly humdrum random facts about myself
1. I have a phobia of snakes
2. The span of my arms from fingertip to fingertip is longer than I am tall and yet there doesn't appear to be an organgutan blood in my family.
3. My favorite band is the Asylum Street Spankers.
4. I think Patrick O'Brien is one of the greatest novelists of all time.
5. I have drunk beer and argued politics with living Canadian Cultural Icon Stompin' Tom Connors.
6. I hate brussel sprouts.
7. I once went skydiving.
8. I was once a professional cook.

Allison, Mudhooks, Azahar, Laura and Wammo -- consider yourselves tagged

The pants-wetting bigot in the room
Is clearly Andrew C. McCarthy, who's real ascared of Muslims. He's upset that media coverage of the recent arrests of 17 suspected would-be terrorists in Canada doesn't pointedly state that the arrested men and teens are Muslims.

McCarthy writes:
"Phase Two was also in full swing Monday, as the Times returned to the Canadian plot. The conspiracy’s leaders, we were told, may have “led prayers” and given “fiery speeches,” but this doesn’t mean they “openly embrace[d] violence.” After all, it’s just Islam (many of whose fiery scriptures openly embrace violence). And surely the police may have “framed” the defendants. The charges, you see, speak only of bomb components being ordered, not whether they were actually delivered. They describe bombing plans, not precisely identified targets. "


Where to start on such ignorant dipshittery? Hmmmm, "led prayers" and gave "fiery speeches"
you say? Goodness me, quick pull up the drawbridge. And it's only Islam whose fiery scriptures openly embrace violence. Right, because Christians have never waged war in the name of religion, nor embraced cruelty. How many stories about Guantano Bay, Abu Graib and Haditha or IRA, ETA and antiabortion bombing have we seen that have identified the perpetrators as "Christians"?

As far as I know, no one credible has seriously suggested this is a frame up. The charges speak of bomb components being ordered not delivered because they were delivered by the RCMP who had been watching these al-Qaida wannabes for two years (Hurrah for the Horsemen). Pardon me if I don't wet my pants and insist that the government tap everyone's phone, read everyone mail and require everyone to wear an IC chip in their arm or have a bar code tattooed on their forehead so we can "protect our freedom." Our system is working just fine and the police and CSIS are doing their jobs very well, even if those red coats make undercover work a bit difficult.

And while some ignorant jackasses claim that multiculturism is to blame for the bomb plot because it lets non-white, non-Christian foreigners walk the streets of Canada with impunity, I think it can be argued that multiculturalism allowed us to catch these guys (check out Mike's comments on this Canadian Cynic thread. )

This is not Canada's 9/11, nothing has changed and we don't need to let Stockwell Day call out the Gestapo to keep us safe from the scary foriegners, so all you damp-trousered fraidy cats on the right just take a few deep breaths and settle down.

We went after the FLQ with the biggest hammer available and the embitterment resulting from the use of the War Measures Act aided their cause more than any bombing or kidnapping they could have committed. The goal of the terrorist or a revolutionary is to provoke a response, to make the government crack down thus turning it against its own people. We must not give in and let that happen.

For other sensible antidotes to bigoted pants-wetting panic on the right, see Wonderdog and Liberal Catnip or check out the snark on Creekside

"Must read" Round up

The Kung Fu Monkey on the Bastards in Suits vs. the People in Uniform Getting Shot At

Hooray for Capt. K - Neither cancer, nor torn retina, nor goaltending trades is keeping this guy out of the Stanley Cup finals next year