Teabaggers gone wild

Anyone surprised by this hasn't been paying attention.
But don't lets accuse the Tea Party or the right-wingers or the Republicans or the conservatives of acting like a bunch of Brownshirts, because that would be impolite. How many "bad apples" do we need to see before we can say the whole bunch is rotten?
And the first person who tells me "both sides do it" wins a free copy of "False Dichotomies for Dummies."

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the obligatory Rob Ford post

The Mound of Sound had the best headline on the topic I've seen and my fellow inkstained wretch and once and future podcast guest Boris had the most poetic post about it that I've seen so far, but since I live in the neighbourhood now, I suppose I must address the election of Rob Ford.

Seriously Toronto? Rob Ford?

I get that you're all angry. Angry that the city government hasn't been run very well in recent memory and that taxes are kinda high.  And you keep being told you are angry by the Toronto Sun and National Post and the U.S. cable news channels with all that coverage of the Tea Party down south about how voters are angry at politicians and angry about taxes and angry about political correctness and angry at all those snooty elites and angry at those damn kids who won't get off your lawn and angry about all the anger. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired you're as mad as hell and you're not gonna take it any more. Just like you are every four years, when almost half of you bother to pay enough attention to actually vote. Sorry if that sounds a little snarky, but if - as we keep being told - everyone is so pissed off and disgusted at the terrible things their local council is doing, then why is the voter turnout so poor for municipal elections?

So Rob Ford feels he has a mandate, and so does every headline writer in the country. He got about 47% of the votes cast, which means more people voted for other people than for him. Ditto in Hamilton, where I keep hearing about Bob Bratina's decisive win in which he got 37 % of the vote compared to his nearest rivals who got 28% and 27%.
 "But wait Rev.Paperboy," you say. "The voter turnout was near record levels in Toronto! And more people voted in the election in Hamilton this time than voted in the last very serious Hamilton municipal election! This a victory for democracy! The people have spoken! Hurrah!" you say.

"Bah, humbug" says I. The "near record" voter turnout in Toronto was a little over 52% of registered voters. In Hamilton, it was up from 36% to about 39%. So Ford's "mandate" consists of about a quarter of the registered voters in Toronto, and Bratina has the support of fewer than than that. Even if you cut them all the slack the numbers allow and round every number in their favor, fewer than three in ten registered votes back these two new mayors with enough passion to actually go cast a ballot. I'll save my rant for how many people living in big cities aren't even registered to vote and who those people might be for another time, but suffice to say I don't really buy this "mandate" stuff.

But I digress.

Rob Ford won the election for mayor of Toronto.

I guess this is the two steps back, but I don't remember the steps forward that preceded it.

I know George Smitherman isn't everyone's cup of chai, but at least he walks upright and can do simple math. Rob Ford is going to make Mel Lastman look like a humble, digified genius. He claims he can slash the budget and reduce taxes without cutting services or firing anyone.  I remember another guy who claimed he could do that and it didn't turn out so well. And he's going to put the budget in order and curb spending while at the same time building a $3 billion subway system. It just isn't going to happen.

Ford is well known in for taking good care of his constituents and spending a lot of time listening to their concerns, and that is all well and good, but there is a little more to running Canada's largest city than that.

Putting aside for the moment his anti-immigrant comments and the accusations of wife-beating, the conviction for drunk driving and the bizarre drug story, his general record of behavior as a classless yahoo, my real complaint about Ford is that he one of two things: A bald-faced cynical liar or an absolute fool who wears his ignorance like a badge of honor.
He cannot do the things he has promised to do and still get the results he has promised any more than you can subtract two from five and get six . If he has any brains at all, he knows this and has been lying to manipulate Toronto voters. If he doesn't know it after three terms on Toronto council, then he's a fool.
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My cover letter is considerably blander

In October 1958, a pre-fame Hunter S. Thompson applied for a job at the Vancouver Sun. The Ottawa Citizen recently published the quintessentially-Hunter cover letter, which also appeared in The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967 (The Fear and Loathing Letters, Vol. 1). Here it is:

Vancouver Sun TO JACK SCOTT, VANCOUVER SUN
October 1, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City
Sir,
I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I'd also like to offer my services.
Since I haven't seen a copy of the "new" Sun yet, I'll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn't know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I'm not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley.
By the time you get this letter, I'll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I'll let my offer stand. And don't think that my arrogance is unintentional: it's just that I'd rather offend you now than after I started working for you.
I didn't make myself clear to the last man I worked for until after I took the job. It was as if the Marquis de Sade had suddenly found himself working for Billy Graham. The man despised me, of course, and I had nothing but contempt for him and everything he stood for. If you asked him, he'd tell you that I'm "not very likable, (that I) hate people, (that I) just want to be left alone, and (that I) feel too superior to mingle with the average person." (That's a direct quote from a memo he sent to the publisher.)
Nothing beats having good references.

Of course if you asked some of the other people I've worked for, you'd get a different set of answers. If you're interested enough to answer this letter, I'll be glad to furnish you with a list of references -- including the lad I work for now.
The enclosed clippings should give you a rough idea of who I am. It's a year old, however, and I've changed a bit since it was written. I've taken some writing courses from Columbia in my spare time, learned a hell of a lot about the newspaper business, and developed a healthy contempt for journalism as a profession.
As far as I'm concerned, it's a damned shame that a field as potentially dynamic and vital as journalism should be overrun with dullards, bums, and hacks, hag-ridden with myopia, apathy, and complacence, and generally stuck in a bog of stagnant mediocrity. If this is what you're trying to get The Sun away from, then I think I'd like to work for you.
Most of my experience has been in sports writing, but I can write everything from warmongering propaganda to learned book reviews.
I can work 25 hours a day if necessary, live on any reasonable salary, and don't give a black damn for job security, office politics, or adverse public relations.
I would rather be on the dole than work for a paper I was ashamed of.
It's a long way from here to British Columbia, but I think I'd enjoy the trip.
If you think you can use me, drop me a line.
If not, good luck anyway.

Sincerely,

Hunter S. Thompson

The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967 (The Fear and Loathing Letters, Vol. 1)

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Back in the saddle again

I am finally gainfully employed once again. And once again, it's with a community newspaper. I looked around for work outside the newspaper industry. No really, I did - I even thought seriously about working the other side of the street and going to work for one of the political parties. I looked for gigs in corporate communications and advertising and public relations and technical writing. I still might end up teaching English to foreign students by this time next year, since this is only a six-month contract gig. And its almost the exact same job I left behind nearly 14 years ago when I departed Canada for Japan and I really didn't want to go back to the 60-hours-a-week-for-all-newsprint-you-can-eat world of the community newspaper business ever again, not after all those years of working to daily deadlines and the luxury of having a deep bench of co-workers to cover days off for each other and take up the slack when  you're having a tough week.



But it has been six months since I left the newspaper in Japan and I'm seriously jonesing to be writing for living again. Simply put, in  the end I'd rather be overworked and underpaid to cover local politics, the police beat and write stories about the interesting people in my community than "payment due" letters and direct mail brochures about the latest and greatest offer that you can't afford to pass up on crap you neither need nor want.
And no, I won't tell you where I work, nor will I blog about my workplace as that way lays unemployment.

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Boo-frickin'-hoo

If "Officer Bubbles" really wants to put an end to the shame and embarrassment he suffered as a result of his idiotic actions at the G20 being widely publicized, he might want to chose a different tack. After all, is getting  yourself saddled with the nickname "Constable Crybaby" really going to make things better? I'm sure this will make the other guys and gals in the squad room stop teasing him.

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Blame Ignatieff!

We take you now live to the United Nations for a Press Conference with Stephen Harper, his hand puppet foreign minister  Laurence Cannon, spokesman Dimitri Soudas and various other members of the government


(with only a small apology to Matt Stone and Trey Parker)


Stephen Harper: Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Dimitri Soudas: Should we blame the government?
Laurence Cannon: Or blame society?
John Baird: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Harper: No, blame Canada Ignatieff!
CPC caucus: Blame Canada Ignatieff!
Harper: With his beady little eyes
And pointy head so full of lies
Caucus: Blame Ignatieff!
Blame Ignatieff!
Harper: We need to form a full assault
Caucus: It's Ignatieff's fault!
Baird: Don't blame me
I beg you pleasethey don't think that we're all goonsThey just love the Portugese!
Harper: And the President once
Had my picture on his shelf
But this new guy, he tells me to fuck myself!
Cannon: Well, blame Ignatieff
Caucus: Blame Canada
Harper: It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Ignatieff came along
Caucus: Blame Ignatieff
Blame Ignatieff
Soudas: He's not even a real Canadian anyway
Peter McKay: I could've been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true,
Instead my reps burned up like a piggy on the barbecue
Caucus: Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or universal health care, which we hope will soon expire?
Harper: heck no!
Caucus: Blame Ignatieff
Blame Ignatieff
Harper: With all his summer barbecues
Baird: And the elitists love him too
Caucus: Blame Ignatieff
Shame on Ignatieff
For...
The coalition we must stop
The left we must bash
The Liberals and the NDP
and anyone else that we can seeWe must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!




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Welcome to my nightmare

From the Windsor Star we glean another good reason to hope my inlaws don't get sick. Not just because I love them and wish them well, but because going back to care for them could become a major problem.

A Leamington couple who flew to Mexico in June to deal with a personal tragedy have found themselves mired in a new nightmare: the bureaucracy of the Canadian immigration system.

The married couple, Gerhard Wiebe and Maria Eugenia Vazquez Cortes, travelled to Mexico June 1 to arrange family affairs after the death of Cortes' mother in the central Mexican city of Tlaxcala. But when they tried to return to Canada on July 1, Cortes learned she would not be permitted back in.

"They won't let her come back," said Wiebe. "She is stuck down there."

(snippity, snip, snip)

Before they flew to Mexico, Wiebe, 53, said they checked with the immigration ministry to ensure Cortes would be allowed back into Canada.

"They said there's no problem because I have a sponsorship application," Wiebe said. All they would have to do is apply for another visitor's visa from the Canadian embassy in Mexico.

But when they did, it was denied.

Wiebe said the officer at the embassy wasn't convinced that, if Cortes' sponsorship application was rejected in Canada, she would return to her home country.

Now, that application can't even be completed because Cortes isn't on Canadian soil.

Now, I don't know all the exact details of the case, but one would expect that given the couple have been married for a few years already, approval of the application for permanent residence should be a foregone conclusion, assuming the woman doesn't have an extensive criminal record as a drug mule or something.  Apparently, this is not the case. My wife is in the process of applying to become a permanent resident right now and we were told the six month visitor's visa could be renewed repeatedly while the application is being considered (a process that can take longer than a year), so you can see how  this story might make me a bit apprehensive to say the very least.

The question is, given that ministry assured them returning would not be a problem prior to their departure, can the federal immigration service be sued for breach of promise? I doubt it. Immigration officials and Canada Customs officers have a great deal of authority which they can exercise in an arbitrary way and I am not at all confident that the present government is inclined to curb those powers or provide any kind of meaningful oversight. 

My experiences with both services thus far have been terrific and I have no complaints at all. Quite the contrary, the Customs officers who dealt with us and our various baggage and shipped belongings when we moved to Canada this summer were never less than cordial, helpful and efficient. Ditto for the Immigration officer we spoke with at Pearson Airport and the clerk at the citizenship application processing center in Sydney, Nova Scotia, I spoke with on the phone to clarify some detail on my children's applications for proof of Canadian citizenship.

But stories like this one make me nervous and I wonder what can be done for Mr. Wiebe and Ms. Cortes.

(a tip of the toque to CK at Sister Sage's Musings)

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because you can't always be in a good mood

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Happy Thanksgiving

Dear wealthy denizens of Western society,

Stop bitching on your smart phone about how the valet scratched your Lincoln Navigator while parking it at the restaurant. Quit complaining over tumblers of iced Grey Goose in the clubhouse about how the caddy fees are climbing. Stop whinging in your letters to the editor that the government wants to take another 2% of your seven-figure income to provide basic medical care to poor children in your backyard or food for starving people overseas. Just shut the fuck up and take your snout out of the trough for a few minutes and enjoy this beautiful day and be glad you won the birth lottery. Be thankful you aren't any of the millions of people around the world who make your spoiled lifestyle possible.



(and yes Americans, it is Thanksgiving tomorrow. We had ours first, in 1578, without those dowdy Puritan Pilgrim outfits)

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Do we still have a right not to have confessions beaten out of us?

Seriously, because if we don't have right to have a non-police witness of some kind present at our interrogation by the police, then in practice the cops pretty much have carte blanche to do whatever they want to people. Without a right to a lawyer during interrogation, who knows how many people will "fall down the stairs" while in custody.
I just moved back to Canada from Japan and while I love the Japanese culture and people and all my friends there, civil liberties in Japan are something of a bad joke. The court system has a conviction rate of nearly 100% for a couple of reasons. First, many criminals turn themselves in due to the shame-based nature of the social contract in Japanese culture. Second, there is no real presumption of innocence in the legal system. Third, the police can arrest and hold people without charge for days and the people being held have no right to a lawyer during interrogation.
In theory, this allows the police to avoid those cases where some crook gets off on a "technicality" because he wasn't read his rights or because he lawyered up and was told to act in his own best interest instead of the best interest of the state. In practice it means that when a crime is committed and the culprit isn't giftwrapped and waiting for them, the police in Japan can pick up anyone they consider undesirable, hold them incommunicado for a couple of days pending charges and give them the phone-book-and-rubber-hose treatment until they decide to confess. Usually, it doesn't even take any physical abuse. Three or four days without sleep, a complete ignorance of the rules the game is being played by and constant browbeating is usually enough to get the average homeless person or teen slacker to confess to whatever petty crime the police want them to in Japan. For more serious cases, the police can hold someone for a few weeks. After a couple of weeks, most people would be willing to confess to the McKinley assasination. And any accusations of mistreatment invariably boil down to "who are you going to believe - us, the sworn officers of the law who protect you while you sleep, or this whining criminal scumbag?"
The supreme court ruling sends us down the path to exactly that reality.


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Like it or not, Capt. Semrau must be punished

I'm not sure I'm the guy to take this on and as usual these days I'm busy juggling flaming chainsaws on the job search and family fronts (ain't transPacific relocation a hoot!), but I have to say I'm getting a bit tired of all the letters to the editor I'm seeing about how the high command and "the system" has failed Capt. Semrau and how he deserves a medal.
I don't for a moment think the guy is some kind of bloodthirsty scofflaw, but rules are rules and exist for a very good reason. Do we want soldiers on the battlefield deciding which among the wounded may or may not be successfully treated and simply shooting the ones they think won't make it at their own discretion? Would those who want to pin a medal on Capt. Semrau like to see Canadian soldiers treated by such a standard?
I think the military judge showed the wisdom of Solomon and exercised considerable leniency in dismissing the captain from the military without giving him a dishonorable discharge or a prison sentence. He may well have acted from the highest motives - or the lowest, there really isn't any way of reading his mind - but he acted in clear violation of all the rules of the Canadian Forces and the Geneva Convention, so obviously - at the very least - he had to be punished as an example.
Semrau has been portrayed as an exemplary soldier and commander and he probably was until he stepped over this important line. His men defended his actions and his defence has been that what he did was a mercy killing.
That may be, but it was still an unlawful killing. What he did was withhold medical treatment from a wounded prisoner and then murder that prisoner. Whatever the motive, whether he acted out of brazen cruelty, a secret desire for revenge, or (most likely) compassion for someone in pain he didn't think would survive, what he did was still a war crime and has to be treated as such.  His motives and intentions, noble though they may be, don't really matter in the end. Whether international law needs to be revisited to allow for such actions is an entirely separate minefield and one I don't suggest we should enter.
Semrau must be punished not only for his concrete actions, but for what they represent - a commissioned officer willfully and knowingly violating the rules of war, the regulations of the Canadian Armed Forces and the Geneva Convention. Such conduct, no matter the reason, must carry consequences, otherwise military discipline is seriously undermined. Let us not forget that while the Canadian military defends our democracy and all those other egalitarian principles we hold dear, it is not and cannot be a democracy itself. Structure, chain-of-command and top-down leadership are all essential to the military functioning properly. Soldiers must follow orders and regulations or they are nothing more than a well-armed mob. I'm sorry that Semrau has sacrificed his military career, but his actions cannot be ignored - he is fortunate not to be in prison.

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That's my daughter

She's had an eventful summer and autumn: Moving from Japan to Canada, turning 8 years old, mastering the two-wheeler, learning to do more than dogpaddle, starting at a new school and now she's become an award-winning artist.

Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye....

Don't be a Sucker

This bit of film was produced in 1947 by that notorious gang of liberal pinkos, the United States War Department. Does any of it sound familiar?



Let me be perfectly clear -- this is exactly where wedge issue politics leads. It is all part of a divide-and-conquer strategy to make sure we are too occupied with fighting our fellow citizens and neighbours to notice that the wealthy and powerful are bleeding us dry and making the lives of millions more difficult so that they can enrich themselves. The income gap between the top and bottom of the economic ladder is larger than it has ever been in North America and poverty is at an all time high in the United States as the middle class is being systematically eroded by debt and economic mobility is being stifled by the high cost of health care and education. But any suggestion that the rich are mercilessly exploiting the poor is greeted with pearl-clutching about "class war" and accusations of socialism by the people controlling public discourse.
We are treated to the latest tawdry escapades of people like Paris Hilton and reassured that the system works and is fair when she gets arrested for possession of cocaine, but ask yourself whether a 30-year-old hispanic hotel chambermaid with a couple of prior convictions would have gotten off as lightly in the era of zero tolerance? And while we are fed scapegoats ranging from Muslims to Mexicans, from "Cadillac-driving welfare queens" and "secular liberals who want to take your guns" to "ivory tower intellectuals" and "crooked unions" --we very rarely hear about the new robber barons like the Koch brothers, and when we do, the pushback in the media is massive and immediate. 

We are being played for suckers.

Regressive Conservatives

I'm so glad I moved back to Canada in time to vote against these jerks. I said when they passed this law that it was bad idea and poorly thought out. Now that I'm dealing with the realities of applying for confirmation of citizenship for my two kids born in Tokyo and applying for permanent resident status for my wife, I think it was an even worse idea that was not thought through at all. But I suppose the Conservatives consider anyone who has been further away from home than spending a weekend shopping at the outlet malls near Plattsburgh or a golf holiday in Florida to be an "elite." Remember, getting too much of that fancy egghead book-learning just makes you want to live in a big city with other elites or - god forbid - among foreigners. The only Real Canadians (tm) are those who stay on the farm, clinging to their bibles, guns and Conservative Party of Canada membership cards. Maybe Stephen can figure out a way to revoke citizenship for those that leave the country -- he certainly seems to be working on it.

This week's headdesk moments

...and btw, has anyone managed to get a comment from loud and proud anti-elitist populist John "Foghorn of the People" Baird on Stephen Harper's appointment of a Harvard-educated Bay Street banker and former Mulroney aide as the head of the PMO?

Autumn

A little mood music...



...and a special thanks to Theo for the seasonal postcard painting & poem.

Today's "headdesk" moment

Today's headdesk moment comes to us courtesy of The General, who recently came to the attention of some genius at CounterPunch, who apparently is just as conversant with the broader world of the internet and all its conventions as Prince Shannon.  I love The General, though strictly in a gruff, manly,  biblically-approved, hetrosexual way - don't believe a word of what that drunken lying preevert Cletus says!

Oh, and in case you missed it -- Sadly No presents last week's headdesk moment.

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me"

For starters, they are much bigger crybabies. Michael O'Hare delivers the initial scolding and Brad Delong administers the much needed spanking with the paddle of factual reality. This is exactly the kind of thing that Paul Krugman is talking about in this week's column.

This week in shadenfruede, hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance

First, conservative propagandist Kory Teneycke finds someone has placed a pistol with a single round on his desk at  voluntarily steps down from Quebecor Media for the good of the team. Thankfully, Rupert Murdoch-wannabe Pierre Karl Peladeau was able to find someone without any obvious political bias to replace Kory. How very fair and balanced of him.
The week got even better when PKP's  Sun chain of "newspapers for people who can't read" found out there's no one "Better than Ezra" at getting them waist-deep in the big muddy of legal quicksand. I should probably start a betting pool on how long it takes for Ezra to complain that this is censorship and just another example of antiSemitism on the part of the radical left.
My personal favorite though, was lifelong professional politician John Baird, a graduate of Queens University (Canada's Yale) who has never had a job outside of politics either at Queens Park or Parliament Hill, blaming the failure of the Conservative government to get rid of the gun registry on "Toronto elites".
Uh, yeah, right, you just keep digging John. You really have to admire the balls of a secular, gay, vegetarian graduate of an elite university who grew up in the Ottawa suburbs and who has never had a real job, trying to make a what he thinks is a populist appeal to the perceived base of his party - angry, rural, religious, uneducated, blue collar, Toronto-hating Preston Manning fans from Alberta. Not that there is anything wrong with being any of those things, but Baird sort of reminds me of Alan Keyes and Ted Haggart.
Not to be outbrassed, Stephen Harper's office this week rapped the knuckles of the Parti Quebecois for criticizing the Montreal Canadiens over their lack of French-Canadian players and claiming the team was a tool of federalism.

"No political party should play wedge politics with the Montreal Canadiens," Dimitri Soudas, Mr. Harper's director of communications, said in an email.

It is only natural that Dimiti Soudas and Stephen Harper would object to anyone else playing wedge politics. After all, no one likes to see their monopoly threatened. Also, I'm curious as to why only the National Toast Post seems to think this story is major news and has had an endless stream of stories about the "controversey", while most other media outlets seem to be treating it as the silly-season one-day story that it is.

Not the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but close

If this is the biggest complaint the Parti Quebecois has, then I think we can safely start throwing soil on the coffin of the notion of an independent Republic of Quebec. I suppose the PQ also thinks les muffins Anglais are also a Federalist plot. I don't recall the Nordiques coming in for the same criticism, though I think it would be hilarious to see pro sports try to adopt a "locals only" rule for players.