Is there some kind of intelligence test you have to fail to be on FOX?

Shorter Bill O'Reilly:
"Fucking magnets - how do they work?" (for the meme-challenged, go read this)

One of my father's favorite jokes goes something like this:

"The Thermos is one of the greatest inventions of modern man and also one of the world's great mysteries. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, but how does it know?"

To you and me and my dad - and anyone else who managed to pass science class in elementary school - this is a funny joke. I suspect it might be the kind of conundrum that would keep Bill O'Reilly up all night.

I know, I know - someone on FOX News saying something stupid is so rare it only happens on days that end in a 'Y' - but big bad Bill outdid himself this week, further proving that the Enlightenment of the 17th century hasn't quite caught on in some segments of North America.



Leaving aside O'Reilly's usual abrasiveness and tendency to ask a question and then refuse to allow the guest to answer it, and his boneheaded, reducto ad absurdum insistence on blaming the victims of every con artist in history, and his eagerness to take offense at a campaign by a group of atheists that is obviously intended to provoke controversy and encourage people to admit the emperor is stark naked, let's look at his oh-so-clever dismissal of atheism.

Quoth the Billo:

"I'll tell you why [religion is] not a scam. In my opinion -- alright? Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can't explain that. You can't explain why the tide goes in."

 To quote a prominent political figure "Yes, we can" - I guess Bill's unfamiliar with the old adage that it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. This is shooting fish in a barrel with a grenade launcher. I can't believe I have to point this out, but we've known how and why tides work since Newton laid it all out in 1682. Maybe this a result of Bill's antipathy toward Islam - he just doesn't trust math because it is all done with arabic numerals - or maybe he thinks gravity, like evolution is just a theory. And yet, Billo makes an obscene amount of money talking on the TV and is considered by millions to be a smarter than those pinhead liberal eggheads.

Hat tip to the Booman Tribune . 


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And speaking of FOX News...

A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Plus ca change, plus ca meme freakin' chose

Frank Capra was neither subtle nor wrong. The opening with the words being jackhammered off the cornerstone of the newspaper building tells you all you need to know. This movie was released in 1941 and aside from the old fashioned-telephones, men all wearing hats and the homeless not being as universally shunned as they are today, it could have come out last week.



Of course, if you replace the John Doe Clubs with the teabaggers and Gary Cooper with Glenn Beck you get the Bizarro World version in which a mean spirited demagogue encourages people to hate their neighbors and be just a little bit nastier to each other.

Addendum: As is often my mantra - what Driftglass said.

Rich Sanchez is not amused by Fox News

This may well be the most pissed off I've ever seen a newscaster on camera, and not without reason.

"Thanks for having me, Chris"

Shorter Stephen Harper: "When I said we couldn't win in Afghanistan, I meant that as long as its just Afghans blowing up each other, we win. And all that stuff that Paul Martin did to regulate the banks, stuff I wouldn't have done in a million years? Well I'm happy to take credit for it now."

Ol' Dead Eyes never even mentioned his own defence ministers call for an explanation of Fox News' Greg Gutfeld's ridiculing of Canada's contribution in Afghanistan. He probably thought it might hurt his chances of going out for falafel with Bill O'Reilly while he was in town.

Harper to teach FOX News a lesson

A week after Greg Gutfeld and his panel of brainless wonders yukked it up over the idea that Canada actually has an army, pissing off so many people in the Great White North that even Canadian Defence Minister and neocon lickspittle Peter McKay condemned FOX News. But not to worry, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has now entered the fray. He's going to be in Washington on Sunday and New York on Monday - not to meet with U.S. officials - but to do media interviews. Including one with FOX News host Chris "His father must be so embarrassed" Wallace. 

Harper did provide Radio-Canada with a rare interview on Thursday evening and is scheduled to give another Sunday to CTV.

Canadian correspondents were told not to bother trying to track Harper in Washington or New York. "You will likely be disappointed," said Teneycke.

The prime minister's latest round of media shopping comes just a month after he was last in New York.

It's part of a strategy to limit Harper's Canadian interrogations - where the questions tilt toward the specifics of Canada's troubled domestic economy - in favour of foreign media who can be expected to compare this country favourably to its international partners.

The only detail provided by the Prime Minister's Office was that Harper will be doing a live interview on Fox News on Sunday morning and a CNN interview on Monday.

Somehow I doubt the interview will begin the way it should, with Wallace presenting Gutfeld's head on a silver platter. Way to stand up for Canadians, Steverino.

It will be Harper's second interview with both Fox and CNN in a month. He has not granted an interview to The Canadian Press, Canada's national news service, since December 2007.

Apology not accepted

Bygones?
Do they think they can repeatedly talk this kind of smack about Canada and then just say "oh sorry, just kidding" when they are finally called on it? Really?
Well, I don't think so. What exactly did we "misunderstand" about this festival of dumbassery? Was it actually a scripted outtake from a Rick Mercer "Talking to Americans" special? Greg Gutfeld and the rest of the crew of ignorant jingoistic taints at Fox can kiss my Red-and-white-but-never-blue-maple-syrup-and-hockey-loving ass. Thank god most Americans are smarter than these smirking arses. Fox News is blight on the airwaves and should never have been given a licence in Canada. I vote we cut off the oil for a few months, starting yesterday. Sorry to the rest of America, but if you have a problem with the spike in gas and heating oil prices, take it up with Fox News.

"Isn't this the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country? They have no army!"
-alleged funnyman Greg Gutfeld

Yeah, cause that worked out so well for you guys the last time, Greg.

Bonus funny: One of douche bags involved, Doug Benson, was actually scheduled to perform his comedic stylings in Edmonton from April 2 to April 5. According to the Star, he has decided to cancel the gig. I guess he was afraid some of these guys might have misunderstood his humourous take on their activities. Too bad, I'd certainly have paid top dollar to have seen that. No more BC bud for you, Dougie, your eyes are red enough.

another one bites the dust
First they came for Tucker Carlson, now John Gibson -- when will it be O'Rielly's turn?