"Where else would you go when you have an ax to grind?"

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Jon Stewart was right, he is a dick

Regular readers know that while I live in Tokyo, I am Canadian right down to my Stanfields. I like my hockey, my Molson's, my maple syrup and Stompin' Tom Conners. Like many Canadians, I have mixed feelings about our neighbours to the South. Lately I'm starting to agree more and more with the Carolyn Parrish crowd, mainly because of the reaction south of the border to our Prime Minister's very reasonable comments on the state of affairs between Canada and the United States. The U.S. Ambassador felt compelled to shoot his mouth off and interfere with our election (not the first time this has happened, Paul Celluci did the same thing last time around) and now the rightwing pundits are starting in.

Tucker Carlson -- who incidently dresses like Pierre Berton without being anywhere near as cool as the late popular historian and author -- has apparently been taking way too much of whatever the hell it is that John Gibson is on. I'd like to extend a personal invitation to him to come up and visit the Great White North, where he will be very happy to learn we have low cost socialized health care, because if he gets anywhere near anyone who has read this pile of insulting crap, he's going to need it. I just ask my fellow citizens to save me a piece of him when they go all Dave Schultz on his preppy hide.

From Canadian Press

Last week, MSNBC host Tucker Carlson, a well-known conservative pundit, let loose with a string of anti-Canada rants.

''Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York,'' he said.

''Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada.''

Carlson also said it's pointless to tell Canada to stop criticizing the United States.

''It only eggs them on. Canada is essentially a stalker, stalking the United States, right? Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right?''

''It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States. We, meanwhile, don't even know Canada's name. We pay no attention at all,'' he said.

Clearly the man needs a swift mukluk in the hindquarters, the question is who to sic on him? Don Cherry? Stompin' Tom Conners? Rick Mercer? Rex Murphy? Post your suggestions and we'll have a contest.

I think the thing that drives these guys nuts when it come to the True North Strong and Free is that Canada is the country that U.S. liberals would like to see the U.S. resemble - clean, polite, free and safe with a strong economy, a falling public debt, a government that tries to help those that need it and unquestionably liberal social policies. Canada works and that drives guys like Neil Cavuto and Tucker Carlson crazy.

By all means drop the ignorant sissy-boy a line at Tucker@msnbc.com


Bazz said...

Personally, I've been leaning towards Dave Semenko as "Administrator of Correction" for Mr. Carlson.

the rev. said...

yeah I've been thinking about Marty McSorely or even Moose Dupont -- If only John Kordic were still around

UUFO said...

Don Cherry
Sheila Copps
John Crosbie

and a number of Hell's Angels

Bazz said...

A very Joyeux Noel to everyone here!