Rule No. 2: Old people always have exact change
Rule No. 3: Never trust a man who calls the bathroom "the little boys room"
Rule No. 4: When someone says he is "pumped" about something, it usually means he's about to do something stupid.
Rule No. 5: Women who sound sexy on the radio weigh 377 pounds
Rule No. 6: For every Tom Hanks, there's a Peter Scolari
"Where else would you go when you have an ax to grind?"