Dilbert's Unified Theory of Everything Financial
Everything you need to know about money in under 130 words.
From Scott Adams' "Dilbert and the Way of the Weasels."

1. Make a will
2. Pay off your credit cards
3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support
4. Fund your 401k/pension plan to the maximum
5. Fund your IRA/RRSP to the maximum
6. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it
7. Put six months worth of expenses in a money-market account
8. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker and never touch it until retirement
9. If any of this confuses you, or you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner, not one who charges a percentage of your portfolio.

And as my mother the stock broker and financial planner always says: "Pay yourself first" meaning take ten percent of your paycheque and put it straight into the bank before you pay the bills, buy grocieries, beer or anything else.