Not an aircraft carrier

This is the Hyuga, the newest destroyer to be commissioned into Japan's Maritime Self-Defense Force. It is not an aircraft carrier.

Just because it is more than 10,000 tons heavier than the destroyer it is replacing and carries almost no guns and is basically a floating flight deck that is 20 m longer than the Italian carrier Garibaldi - and about 20 shorter than the HMS Invicible doesn't make it an aircraft carrier, even if if it could easily handle Harrier jets and other VTOL aircraft. Perish the thought!

Aircraft carriers are offensive weapons of war! Japan would never have one of those - it would be unconstitutional. Japan's constitution forbids the country from having the ability to make war or even have a military - just because it has the seventh largest defense budget in the world, don't think for a second it would violate the US imposed constitution! It doesn't have a military - it has a "self-defense force."

Policy at our newspaper in Tokyo is that we must never call self-defense forces personnel "soldiers" since Japan, as we all know, does not have a military. So clearly the Hyuga cannot be an aircraft carrier. It is merely a very, very large destroyer, I mean, in actual fact it is just the world's largest peace-loving civilian coast guard cutter - hurrah Japan! Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!!!1!

Also, that bird over there swimming around the pond, the quacking one with the green head, broad bill and the webbed feet? That is a special kind of chicken, not a duck.