Dear Americans

Could you please tell your Republican fellow countrymen to stop sending money to the terrorists occupying the Canadian capital? The government is just going to seize that money anyway, but it would be nice if you guys could stick to trying to overthrow governments south of the border.
We Canadians are nice and polite up to a point, but if you've ever watched a professional hockey game, you know we are completely willing to pull your sweater up over your head and punch you until teeth rain down on the ice like somebody ripped open a pack of chicklets. Don't make us come down there again and remind you why the White House had to be whitewashed.