Somewhere a speechwriter's butt is sore

Shorter Bush TV address: "I've lost 3,000 shooting craps so far, so the smart thing to do is bet another 21,500 and try to win my money back"

I know that when Dubya said:

"Victory will not look like the ones our fathers and grandfathers achieved. There will be no surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship"

we were supposed to think of the last war the United States won
But how many people out there thought of this: