Doughy E. Pantload, Super Genius
A "long-time reader" fluffs the Pantload in such a way that I can only assume the letter is a joke that, typically, Jonah didn't catch. They're laughing Jonah, but their not laughing with you.
Instead, you've written a brilliant, hyper-intellectual yet accessible book correcting a historical fraud (sadly, sans women's prison movie humor) AND you've sold a ton! You, Jonah Goldberg, are a Super Genius.
Yes, a "Super Genius." If only he had his own copy of the Acme catalogue, he'd really show
Really, it must be difficult for him having to shave his palms every morning before