"Where else would you go when you have an ax to grind?"

Monday, July 20, 2009

Attention puny earthlings!

Bow before me, Ming the Merciless, and bend your worthless selves to my will or I will blot out the sun tomorrow at 11 am!

I require all governments of the earth to surrender unconditionally to me and evacuate and cede the following territories to me for my Imperial dominions: New Zealand, Kuai, The Isle of Man, Switzerland, Panama and Baffin Island.
All of the following territories are to be evacuated for use as waste storage sites and all residents are report to the nearest Dominio's Pizza, Foot Locker, Walmart or Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet for induction into my global army of slaves: Texas, Alberta, Australia, Mongolia, Portugal and the Vatican. All national treasuries are to be forfeit to my personal coffers.
Also, two chili dogs with extra onions and jalapenoes, some onion rings (the good ones, not those crappy minced onion ones they sell at Burger King) and a diet coke Big Gulp. One gets a bit peckish ruling over the known galaxy with an iron fist.

Pathetic fools, do not test the patience of Ming!

You have until 10 am tomorrow to comply or feel my icy wrath as I blot out your sun!

Disobey me at your peril puny earthlings! I am Ming the Merciless and I am your master! You will worship me as a god or I shall take away the sun!


David said...

Stop your attack on Earth and I'll spare your life!


Shinigami Kayo said...

Alberta refuses to bow to your demands. Waste storage site..Bah! We have faith that both KD Lang will eat meat again and the sun will shine on God's country tomorrow. Stephen Harper is already asking permission from the Obama to negotiate on Canada's behalf..so back off buddy..he's a man on the edge!

Our Man in Abiko said...

Gordon's alive!


SeattleDan said...

I, for one, welcome our new Overlord, Ming the Merciless.

Word verification: dillo. hmm.