Abso-fucking-lutely

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That will teach them

Masked thugs run amok at G20 summit in Toronto

So another report has blasted the Toronto Police and OPP for their misdeeds during the G20.
I'm sure the harsh punishment meted out against al the police officers who broke the law will teach them the error of their ways and stop the police from abusing their authority ever...oh wait.
Of the 1,000 people arrested that weekend, fewer than 50 have been convicted of anything and only a handful have been sentenced to any time in jail. Of course, among the dozens of cops who violated rights, assaulted innocent people and abused their authority, not even a handful have been disciplined, let alone charged criminally. Even in cases where the perpetrators are known.
I keep reading otherwise reasonable people complaining about "masked thugs" involved in the G20 protests and the Quebec student protests and lauding the Conservative government's new law to put people in prison for wearing masks at a demonstration.
Given that police make a point of trying to video and photograph everyone in the crowd, even a peaceful demonstrations, and given what we know about how the security apparatus in Canada works these days (sending people abroad to to be tortured, handing over information on citizens to foreign governments, compiling dossiers on citizens engaged in legitimate exercise of their  democratic rights, infiltrating protest groups with informants and agent provocateurs, etc etc) and given the use of facial recognition software by the security agencies, one would have to be an idiot or a martyr not to wear a mask at a demonstration.
That is what our democracy has come to –– citizens are afraid to show their faces at a protest for fear of government reprisal.



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The vilest thing I've seen in a long time

Dear human race,
I am very, very disappointed in you.
Sincerely,
Rev.Paperboy


P.S. Is it something in the water in parts of the country? Does repeated exposure to loud bangs cause some kind of subtle brain damage? Is it blood poisoning from sucking on lead bullets? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Just knowing that someone was sick enough to make this shooting range target make me furious.

Knowing that they were sold out of them in two days makes me wonder if the Chinese communists weren't on to something with their idea of re-education camps, because until these kind of people learn the error of their ways or are sent away somewhere, Western society is completely screwed.

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Reading list update

An update on my Read 50 Books This Year project:

17. Another Day Another Dungeon by Greg Constikyan
A lighthearted comic fantasy novel that reads like a session of Dungeons and Dragons among a reasonably intelligent group of friends with decent senses of humour. Not as over the top as Robert Aspirin's now-nearly-unreadable MYTH series, but not exactly canonical either. You can judge this one by the cover. Moderately entertaining, but I won't be searching the used bookstore for the rest of the series.

18. The Essential Ellison by Harlan Ellison
This 1000+ page tome is the main reason its been so long since I posted an update to this list as it took me a while to plow through. A collection of some of Ellison's best short stories, novellas and essays from the 50's through to the early 90's. This covers the first 35 years of his career, and I'd love to get hold of the updated version that includes the 90's and early 2000's. Say what you want about Harlan Ellison's curmudgeonliness and ego, the mofo can write circles around most of us hacks. Endlessly inventive, horrifying and captivating.

19.Watch Your Back! by Donald E. Westlake
Another day, another Dortmunder comic caper novel. I love these, but they are like eating potato chips - you can't stop until there is no more.

20. Selected Stories of Philip K. Dick
Another grandmaster of science fiction, best know for his paranoia and dark, dystopian view of the future. Another guy who can write circles around us all. Highly recommended.
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A proud day

Not only did I start a new job today as copy editor for a national newspaper chain (that's right Canada: I M IN UR PAYPUR EDITIN UR NOOZE) but my son, 12,  greeted me when I came home with the news that he is going into the family business. He is getting a paper route.

And yes, he knows about my internet handle. He also knows my professional history, from delivering the Sault Star as a boy to writing the high school pages and then covering Rotary Club meetings when I was 16 in Hamilton, the grind on the weeklies in across Southern Ontario (Ingersoll, Caledonia, Port Dover, Listowel, Napanee, Picton and Stoney Creek) and the big money jobs for great metropolitan newspapers in Tokyo and elsewhere.

This makes him the fourth generation of our clan to bring you your daily newspaper. My grandfather briefly drove a newspaper delivery truck and my father was a paperboy for several years.

As the blues song says "They call me the paperboy, because I can deliver"

That song hasn't been recorded yet, so enjoy this song, by another Paperboy:


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Harmonica Players Suck (Except When They Blow)

Free 28-page guide to blowing (and sucking) your brains out.
Make music (or a reasonable facsimile thereof)!
Amaze your friends!
Confound your enemies!
Annoy the hell out of your roommates and neighbours!

Click here and print the document and learn to play the Rev. Paperboy way!

(When printing, print out the first seven pages, flip them and then print out the last 7. The page labelled "8" is actually the inside cover)

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Ford threatens to (b)eat reporter

As comical as I find the latest shenanigan involving duh Mayor of Toronto, the underlying story that Star reporter Daniel Dale was researching when he was mugged by duh Mayor (what else would you call it when some bellowing thug runs up to you in a public park, threatens to punch you and demands you hand over your cell phone?) is one worthy of a closer look in that it says so much about Rob Ford's outlook on life.
In a nutshell, duh Mayor wants to buy a piece of public parkland adjacent to his house, claiming he wants it so that his kids have more room to play.
Heaven forfend that duh Mayor's kids should have to rub elbows with the other kids in the neighbourhood by playing in a public park. Buying the scrap of land in front of the community centre will mean more room for the the Ford children to play, but it will also mean less room for all the other kids in the neighbourhood to play in the public park.

How very Ford Nation of the duh Mayor.
Maybe he can have the local buses cancelled so that his kid's street hockey games aren't disturbed, too.

As an aside, I'm a bit surprised at the lack of quick thinking on the part of Star reporter Daniel Dale. Rob Ford is literally twice Dale's size and had it come to fisticuffs, Dale could have been in considerable trouble, but I strongly suspect he could have just run laps around the park until duh Mayor collapsed breathless. Well, okay half a lap.
To shriek "please don't eat hit me" and surrender the tools of the trade at the cocking of a fist the way he did makes us all look bad. Daniel, if you had just taken the punch like a real old-time newspaperman, not only would you never be allowed to buy another drink in downtown Toronto, but the cops would have been forced to arrest Rob Ford and you'd probably own that nice house of his and the adjacent parkland by the end of the year.
At the very least, I hope this incident has convinced Dale of the merits of keeping a can of bear repellant in the old reporter's kit bag, right next to the first aid kit and the extra batteries.

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"How can you run when you know?"

13 seconds, 67 bullets fired, four killed, one paralyzed for life, eight others wounded. RIP Jeffrey Glenn Miller, Allison B. Krause, William Knox Schroeder and Sandra Lee Scheuer It ain't over until it is over.

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'this machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender"

Happy 93rd birthday Pete Seeger! Would somebody give this guy a Nobel prize already?



(btw, this has been the wallpaper on my computer desktop for about the last six months)


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One of my biggest heroes

Get comfortable and open your ears real wide and listen to one of my favourite people anywhere, anytime. The film doesn't begin to capture Seeger's enormous personal charisma. He has a power over crowds that his hard to explain. Thank FSM he's on our side. Tweet

who would you call on in a crisis?

After considerable discussion with Mrs. Rev.Paperboy we have come to the conclusion that in the event of a major crisis, if we had to pick five people to stand with and count on absolutely, no matter the circumstances - be it civil unrest, natural disaster or some kind of court-appointed disaster, the five people we would want at our side would be my parents, her parents and depending on circumstances Dave and/or a really good lawyer.
Character and experience will tell in a crisis, and we already know how some of these people will behave, except maybe the hypothetical lawyer.


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We hardly knew ye...

After a long struggle, the inevitable obituary for an old friend and trusted companion.
Our thoughts are with the family.

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Why Clark, without your glasses you look just like...

Jesus Jimmy, don't you ever frickin' knock?

Why, he's just a mild-mannered reporter (formerly) with a great metropolitan newspaper!


This blog, along with everything else in my life, will be going through some changes in the coming weeks. No, it isn't anything traumatic, it is just a change in employment status and a general need to update this particular chunk of cyberspace.
For starters, due to the people at Google being shirty about people posing as "real" clergymen, I'm unable to use Rev.Paperboy as the name in my google profile anymore, so I'll  be working without the collar, mask and cape for the foreseeable future, which means you get to know my really, real, honest to goodness, actual name. Try not to abuse that privilege, otherwise various superpowers will have to be brought into play ( Up up and away, Hulk Smash!, Let's go commandoes it's howling' time, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry, Avenger Assemble, it's clobbering' time, go ahead make my day, Shazam! etc etc.).
I'll be weeding the blogroll in the coming days to remove dead links and the like, so if you think you should be on the blogroll, send me a link and we'll see.

Stay tuned!


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This conservative is NOT illiterate!

he can prove that, despite being cousins, his parents were married, damn it!

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When we start our own country, this will be our national anthem

THE BULL

Words & Music: Jake Thackray

On my farm, the bull is the king of the yard;
He's big and bad and fast, he's strong he's . . . hard.
All my other animals would readily concur
That he is the one you salute, he's the one you call "Sir".
But my hens, a noisy, flighty flock -
Led, of course by my unsubmissive cock -
Whenever His Majesty the bull importantly goes by
They dance along behind him and they cry:
"Beware of the bull!"

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all.
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small.
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls.
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls.

Beware of the bull! The dancing cock is right:
Beware of whoever looks down upon you from a height.
Beware of His Honour, His Excellence, His Grace, His Worshipful,
Beware of His Highness, because of the bull.
For if the boss, the chief, the chap at the top
Should let a single lump of claptrap drop,
The greater the weight and the height he is, the harder it will go
With a grander splat! on the bleeders below.
Beware of the bull!

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all.
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small.
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls.
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls.

The hero arrives, we hoist him shoulder-high.
He's good and wise and strong, he's brave, he's . . . shy.
And how we have to plead with him, how bashfully he climbs
Up the steps to the microphone - two at a time.
Then down it comes: slick, slithery pat!
If you must put people on pedestals, wear a big hat.
The tongue he's got is pure gold, the breast is pure brass,
The feet are pure clay - and watch out for the arse.
Beware of the bull!

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all.
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small.
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls.
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls.

At long last, the revolution comes
And in no time at all we're erecting podiums.
Comrades with chests of medals by the balcony-full;
After the Red Flag, the galloping bull.
The Saviour came especially from on high
To face up to the punters eye-to-eye.
No sooner is he dead and gone, there's blessed pulpits-full;
Bestride the holy lamb, behold the bull.
Beware of the bull!

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all.
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small.
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls.
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker and thicker the bullshite falls.

These well-known men, so over-glorified -
There's one of them here his name's on the poster outside -
And he's up here like this, and you are all down there.
Remember his cock and his bull and mutter: "Beware!"
For when they've done, we clap, we cheer, we roar:
"For he is a jolly good fellow! Encore! More, more!"
How glorious it would be if before these buggers began
We all stood up together and solemnly sang:
"Beware of the bull!"

The bull, the bull is the biggest of all.
He is the boss, he is, because he's big and we are small.
But the bigger the bull, bigger the bull, bigger the balls.
The bigger the bull, the bigger and quicker
And the bigger and quicker and thicker
And the bigger and quicker and thicker and slicker the bullshite falls.





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So this happened...

It was a matter of time really, but my latest temporary job has run it's course and I am once again seeking employment. I was hired on a simple letter of employment for eight months as a copy editor and that was ten months ago, so I suppose I can't really complain.
But, I will, just for a moment.
Ah, what a joy to know that one is at the cutting edge of corporate cost-cutting human resources policy. The paper will be the poorer for it, and all my former colleagues will have to work that much harder to fill the staffing gap, but the shareholders will see a .001% increase in their dividend this quarter.
For a few weeks there, I almost felt like I had a secure future.
In the same way that I cannot imagine anyone of my parents' early boomer generation being 45 and facing the prospect of never again having a full-time, permanent staff type of job with benefits and a company pension, I am equally certain they cannot fathom how this is, unfortunately, pretty much the norm for my generation.
We can bitch about the Harper government's decision to defer the old age pension until 67 years of age, but the reality is that many of my peers will never have the financial resources to retire in the first place, no matter what the CPC rate is.
And before anyone starts commenting that I should have saved and put it away in an RRSP when times were good, let me ask, when was that? I put away plenty in my 20s and 30s, despite working at near minimum wage levels in the community newspaper industry in my 20s, but the market crash of 2008 took a major chunk of that - and it wasn't like I had plowed all my money into unicorn futures or anything like that. Just your bog-standard mutual funds and blue chips. It isn't all gone, but I would have made a lot more if I had just bought Krugerrands and buried them in the yard. As it stands, with compound interest and some creative investing twenty years from now I may get back nearly as much as I put in.
So my 'retirement' plan has now gone from "dying while I can still afford the high quality dog food" to "hoping not to have to sell a kidney to pay the rent before I'm 60."

And that is all the whining I'm going to do. I have some prospects in my field, all temporary contracts, naturally, but this is business we have chosen.
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All you need to know...

It is said that all the philosophy one needs to live right can be found in a single source. Traditionalists choose the Koran or the Bible or the Talmud. Others rely on books ranging from Lord of the Rings to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to Atlas Shrugged. More modern folk choose movies or Television - the Godfather, Star Trek, Star Wars, even Highlander all have their cults.
But for true thinking - All you need to know you can learn from Rio Bravo.  


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What could possibly go wrong?

In the wake of the Trevyon Martin shooting, this is quite likely the last thing that needs to happen:

Neo-Nazis patrolling Florida town where Trayvon Martin was killed

By CYNTHIA R. FAGEN

Last Updated: 5:03 PM, April 7, 2012

                                                                                                                                     A heavily armed troop of Neo-Nazis are goose-stepping around the Florida town where Trayvon Martin was killed.

Members of the Detroit-based National Socialist Movement are patrolling Sanford, Florida proclaiming they’re prepared for violence in case of a race riot, its commander Jeff Schoep told the Miami New Times.

“We are not the type of white people who are going to be walked all over.” he said.

“Whenever there is one of these racially charged events, Al Sharpton goes wherever blacks need him. We do similar things. We are a white civil rights organization.”

Yes, that's what everyone thinks of when they think of group named after the Nazis, that they are a civil rights organization. Frankly, I almost hope some retired Jewish veteran sees these knuckle draggers waving a swastika and open fires on them, citing the stand your ground laws as justification. They would certainly have a better case for doing so than George Zimmerman did for killing Treyvon Martin.

But remember the NRA says that guns make us all safer. And by "Us" I can only assume they mean terrified bigoted cracker morons with more ammunition than brains. Especially in America's "post racial society" where shit like this keeps on happening.


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Blog against Theocracy weekend

Rather than rage against the fundementalists that seek to impose the narrow-minded rules of their various faiths upon us, I'd like to take a positive approach to the Blog Against Theocracy weekend and express my admiration for the Bluewater District School Board for doing the sensible thing and ensuring that public schools stay secular.
As the link shows, they have taken all kinds of abuse from those who seek to impose their religious faith on others, so I think it is important to that we let them know they have the support of the majority out there that don't want religion in the public school system
I even wrote them a letter and urge you to do likewise.

Dear board members,

I am writing to commend you on our decision to ban non-instructional religious materials from the schools in the Bluewater district. Favouring or merely appearing to favour one religion over another has absolutely no place in the public school system.
Please do not be swayed by those who accuse you of "political correctness"  for choosing not to ride roughshod over both the spirit of our Constitution and the feelings of non-Christians. Those who claim this decision somehow erodes "Canadian heritage" or feel free to rage against immigrants are simply demonstrating their ignorance and narrow-minded bigotry. One can only imagine their reaction if a group of dedicated Muslims wanted to give a copy of the Koran to every grade 5 student or a group of Buddhists wanted to come in and teach students how to meditate.
Let those who feel it is important for their children to receive religious instruction send their children to any of the many private or publicly-funded religious schools. Religious instruction is not the responsibility of the public school system and it is vital that public schools remain strictly secular.
I applaud you for your fairmindedness, consideration, sensitivity and courage. The moral strength you have demonstrated in this matter sets an admirable example for the students in the Bluewater District and I hope other boards follow your example.
 

You can reach the Bluewater District Board of Education at:

P.O. Box 190

351 1st Avenue North

Chesley, Ontario N0G 1L0

communications@bwdsb.on.ca

 

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/30 Mike Wallace

If ever there was a phrase that struck fear into the corrupt politician, the dishonest businessman or the professional con-man, it was "Mike Wallace is out front with a camera crew and he wants to speak with you."
Wallace was an inspiration to reporters everywhere and proved that TV could do real journalism.

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