"Where else would you go when you have an ax to grind?"

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Cheaper by the quarter dozen?
1 man, 3 wives: HBO comes to Utah -- Newsday.com reports on the new HBO program "Big Love" which focus on a man played by Bill Paxton living in Salt Lake City with his three wives. He's just trying to live up to the principles of the original Mormon church, apparently, and trying to get away from the creepy fundementalist compound he grew up in led by Harry Dean Stanton. Bruce Dern plays his father. Sounds like great casting, but the review in Newsday says its a bit scattered. Sounds like the Sopranos with Tony married to three Carmellas or Six Feet Under with Nate married to Brenda, his younger sister and his mother. I wonder if they will get into the old LDS doctrines about non-white races? Or how the First Nations peoples of North America are actually one of the lost tribes of Israel? Or the Osmonds?
Go out and read "Under the Banner of Heaven" by John Krakauer before watching.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"Dogs and Cats living together -- mass hysteria!" part two
Did I wake up in another dimension sometime in early February and just not notice? First Steven "I am not a zombie!" Harper gets elected over Paul "I balanced the budget" Martin. Then Canada loses to hockey powerhouse Switzerland in the Olympics and fails to get even a bronze medal in our national sport. Now this .

I mean, seriously, what in the hell is going on?

I'm starting to expect to open a history book and read about how British President Neville Chamberlin's doctrine of lightning war solved by the Sudatenland crisis by carpetbombing Berlin and killing German Chancellor Adolf Hitler. Am I going to hear that long serving Canadian Prime Minister Robert Stanfield's government finally fell to Stephen Lewis and the Canadian Socialist Party after Stanfield introduced the War Measures act to put troops in the streets of Calgary and stamp out Preston Manning's separatist terrorist group, the Western Alberta New Constitutional Empire Regiment or that Mick Jagger, former leader of the Beatles, has been in prison since 1980 for gunning down some creepy autograph hound from Hawaii?

This new poll about Bwana Dick Cheney being more popular than wealthy skank Paris Hilton, but less popular than mass murderer Joesf Stalin makes sense - After all, Stalin did win World War Two - but Canada beating the US of A in baseball? Who put what in my kool-aid?

Bush jokes thread
Okay, it's been a slow day down at the Ministry of Truth , so I've been blogging a lot today, but I wanted to share these stories with you:

  • George W. Bush is talking with his military advisers and they tell him that three Brazilians were killed in Iraq the previous day. He looks chastened and sad and slowly shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "That's terrible!" says the president and dismisses his advisors. He immediately calls the VP. "Dick" he says, panic in his voice, "How many is a Brazillion?"

  • Asked his opinion about the ongoing controversy over Roe vs. Wade, George W. Bush said he "didn't care how people got out of New Orleans, as long as they left town."

  • 15,000 atheists demonstrated in London today after a piece of blank paper was found on a cartoonists desk.

leave your joke in the comments

Big Brother loves you!

God is sitting across the street from your house right now, drinking bad coffee and fingering his pistol
because apparently the Supreme Being, the King of Kings, the big sky-daddy hisself, is a bounty hunter. Which could explain a few things - what exactly I'm not sure, but it sure puts a different spin on the Lord's prayer.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Baaaaad behaviour
Remember after 9/11 how we were constantly told that all policemen and firefighters everywhere were the greatest heroes since WWII. I'm thinking that reputation may be fading somewhat in part of Arizona. The photo really does look like the kind of guy you'd expect to be molesting sheep. And then there are these Illinois cops who like to party with drunk underage girls, while locking the boys up for two weeks for underage drinking. Yes, you read that right, two weeks in jail for underage drinking - Thank God I didn't grow up in Monmouth Ill. - I'd have gotten the chair. Ahhh, Bobo's World (tm)

Mellowing out
Clearly someone needs to relax, perhaps with some soothing New Age "music" - I'm not making light of domestic violence so please don't sic the International Sisterhood of Outraged Womyn on me, but shouldn't this guy have been arrested years ago for crimes against humanity and fraud for passing off pablum as art?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Koufaxes
The polls are open - vote early and don't vote often, this is just the opening round to narrow the field so strategic voting is recommended. The Woodshed endorses the following:

Best Blog -- I'll be voting for Jane at Firedoglake this year in the final, but so will everyone else, so you may want to spread the love around to ensure some other these deserving blogs--Eschaton, Orcinus, Jesus' General and Rude Pundit -- make the finals.

Best Professional/Sponsored Blog -- Orcinus (Dave is one of the most consistent, thorough and thoughtful blogger - journalists out there and doing the most important work.)

Best Community Blog -- TPM Cafe, what the wingnuts at open robe media and townhall think they are for the right, which is a nursery school comparing itself to Oxford postgrad programs.

Best Writing -- Michael Berube

Best New Blog -- Glenn Greenwald's Unclaimed Territory

Deserving of wider recognition -- A tough choice, but I'm going with Galloping Beaver, with apologies to Dave Noon at Axis of Evel Knievel. But if you want good reading just go to list and pick one at random

Single issue blog -- Orcinus swatting fascist knuckleheads or PZ Myers swatting antiscience knuckleheads at Pharnygula

Best Post -- I can't vote, I haven't read most of the entries (yet) but hitting them at random is supplying some inspiring reads. Go check them out and to thine ownself be true.

Best Series -- tough to pick from the serious look by Orcinus at Michelle Malkin being unhinged to Jesus General's hilarious Yellow Elephant crusade and everything in between but I think I'll have to go with Americablog's Gannon/Guckert series.

Best Expert Blog -- PZ Myers at Pharnygula

Best Group Blog -- essentially best community blog, only smaller - Lawyers Guns and Money for sharing the postings so well, and for hockey and battleship blogging

Most Humourous Blog -- Dependable Renegade, Rising Hegemon, Happy Furry Puppy Storytime, Rude Pundit are all brilliant, but I have to go with Jesus' General

the others - Most Humourous Post, Best Commentor,?Best State or Local Blog - I don't really feel qualified to comment on these, so I won't.

A heckuva job done by all
Photographic proof of a sort from the BBC that Mike Brown wasn't the only one on staff that was there as a result of a "hire the handicapped" program

"Now, y'all just listen here. You let the Dubainians buy our ports or I'll not only veto everything, I'll spank y'all, jest like I'ma gonna do to Hussien - he tried teh kill mah daddy, the least I kin do is paddle his bottom like we used do to frat pledges. Alberto said I couldn't brand him the way we did with new members at Skull and Bones, said them yoomin raghts types would git all upset, but there ain't nothing in the Geneva convention about a good paddlin"

"Gee, they sure do play tennis with funny racquets over here"