Two minutes for interference and a game misconduct for being a dick

This piece in the Toronto Star lifts up a rock and shines a light on the worst aspects of kids' sports. Briefly, asshole hockey dad decides that the his son's competitive peewee hockey team is having any fun because they aren't winning often enough, so he decides that the kid he thinks is the least talented player should either be kicked off the team or at least be given less ice time and -without the coach's approval-goes ahead and calls a meeting of the team's parents to discuss this.
I have no idea whether the player in question was the worst player on the team or not, but since this is a competitive team, the player did have to try out to make the team, so they can't be that much worse than the other kids on the squad. Looking at the case in this light, the dad is just plain being a dick, right?
Well, let me add one more piece of information. The player in question was the only girl on the team.
So in addition to being a major dick, I suspect there may be more than a little sexism at play here.
As for the headline on the Toronto Star article: "Should hockey dad be 'ashamed' after girl's humiliating departure?" I would argue that he should have been ashamed well before she left and that the league should ban this clown from ever entering the arena again just on general "for the good of the sport" and "no assholes allowed" grounds. I think the coach, while not wanting to hold the asshole's son responsible for his asshole father's assholery, should at least ban said asshole from the dressing room and any other team affairs, simply on the grounds that deciding who to put on the ice and when is the decision of the coach and only the coach.

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hey, all you kids out there

here's one for you to watch and practice the next time yer down at the rink. The great Jack Todd, the Montreal Gazette's best sports writer and heir-apparent to the crown worn by Red Fisher, takes Don Cherry into the corner and puts him halfway through the boards. Bravo Jack Todd. Cherry is an ignorant blowhard whose greatest claim to fame in the NHL was his inability to count past five.
Read the whole thing.

Don Cherry is nothing but a phoney

By JACK TODD, The Gazette December 13, 2010 

There he is in Toronna, old Sour Grapes himself, invited to the inauguration of that Chris Farley reincarnation Rob Ford, decked out in a jacket of Liberace pink, dripping sarcasm and hatred with all his soul.
"Put that in your pipe and smoke it, ya left-wing kooks," Don Cherry bellows, among other sweet nothings to issue from the loudest mouth in Canada.

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/Cherry+nothing+phoney/3967855/story.html#ixzz180V4VxJq

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Not the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but close

If this is the biggest complaint the Parti Quebecois has, then I think we can safely start throwing soil on the coffin of the notion of an independent Republic of Quebec. I suppose the PQ also thinks les muffins Anglais are also a Federalist plot. I don't recall the Nordiques coming in for the same criticism, though I think it would be hilarious to see pro sports try to adopt a "locals only" rule for players.

Not for sissies

Everyone likes to think that their favorite sport is the most demanding and produces the best athletes, but for the ultimate combination of physical conditioning, strength, skill and courage, I challenge anyone to top the hockey player.
Sure, soccer players can run full tilt for 90 minutes and need great skill to handle the ball. Yes, football linebackers are strong as bulls and can sprint like a deer. I know, I know -- hitting a curve ball is one of the most difficult things there is. NHL goalies do their best to hit a fast curveball with their bodies about 30 times a game. And while they may be in good shape, I have no time for the boohooing and theatrics of soccer players who bump into each other, or occasionally collide mid-air. And don't talk to me about the long term wear and tear on the bodies of the armoured behemoths in the front lines of the NFL, how often to they get hit with a stick by someone going in excess of 30 kph?. You want tough? Meet the Montreal Canadiens' Travis Moen.

Moen took a skate blade in the face on Monday night, resulting in between 40 and 50 stitches, but, as the Montreal Gazette tells us: "Moen had hoped to play in Wednesday’s game in Buffalo, but doctors didn’t want his injury subjected to the altitude pressures of flying. It was just the sixth game the durable forward had missed in his past 320 in Montreal, San Jose and Anaheim."

As Moen himself said in the article (emphasis mine): “I was unlucky to get hit, but lucky that it missed the eye – fortunate enough that nothing serious happened. I was fortunate that (the skate) missed my eye and I just got some stitches. I’m definitely happy that was the outcome.”


Rugby players take a pounding. Marathon runners have incredible endurance. Driving Nascar or Formula  One cars means knowing that if someone else makes a mistake you could end up trapped in a pile of burning, twisted metal. I acknowledge all that. I'll go one better and specify that all athletic endevours carry some risk of catastrophic injury- think of Joe Thiesman getting his leg snapped or Jessica Dube nearly getting her nose cut off in a figure skating accident. But name me one other sport where getting 50 stitches in the face is just another day at the office.
Moen is fully expected to be back on the ice tonight.

In the words of Warren Zevon: "Take care of your teeth, that might work for you, but what's a Canadian farm boy to do?"

Things not to do

Never eat at place called "Mom's"

Never shoot pool for money with a guy named "Fats"

Never start a land war in Asia

Never go against a Sicillian when death is on the line

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

And most importantly...

Never, ever bet against Canada when it comes to hockey

Further suggestions: Leave the cape alone, don't piss off Clayton Moore

Jesus saves, but Shutt scores on the rebound!

From the brain-dead goons who ape Christianity that brought you "God hates Fags" picket signs at military funerals, a new swan-dive into the the shallow end of the crazy pool.

Westboro Baptist, the group that puts the "mental" in "Fundementalist Christian" has decided to start picketing hockey games, because "God H8s Ur hockey!"

No, no, no. Admittedly, God hates the Toronto Maple Leafs, but that's understandable. God loves hockey and he's a Habs fan. Obviously, he's just been busy with other things lately.

I'd love to see Westboro Baptist ice a team against the Flying Fathers, or maybe just some old Flyers.

I bet the Leafs could have him in the second round

Sure, his fundamentals need a little work, and he's no pretty boy, but this kid is big, strong, tough, dangerous and wild at heart. He's aggressive in the corners, has the killer instinct needed in today's NHL -- he'll really maul the other team.

so crazy it just might work

Kevin Smith wants to make a movie with Mitch Albom based on a Warren Zevon song about hockey that features the vocal styling of David Letterman.

Hit Somebody (The Hockey Song) - Warren Zevon

Yes, you heard me right. The guy that made all the "Clerks" stuff and "Zack&Miri Make a Porno," the sentimental, foul-mouthed, Gretzky-worshipping, idiot-savant of Smodcast and Silent Bob fame is planning to team up with the Detroit sportswriter that wrote the immensely successful  and immensely maudlin "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "Five People You Meet In Heaven" to make a hockey movie and he wants it to be an "awards movie."  The end result is either going to be pretty good ("Chariots of Fire" meets "Slap Shot" crossed with "The Sweater") or downright frightening  ("Youngblood" "The Mighty Ducks" and "Miracle" crossed with "Jersey Girl.")

A nation shamed



Somewhere, Foster Hewitt is gnashing his teeth and wringing his hands.

Bring me the head of Martin Biron
Just watched the first two periods of the Canadiens-Flyers game before running off to work. The Habs were down 3-0 on some soft screened shots that wunderkind Carey Price should have stopped. Biron continues to stand on his head for the Flyers and I am much vexed, so here is some inspirational music.


SeeqPod - Playable Search

Addendum--It's two hours later and I finally found out what happened in the third period. Apparently Darien Hatcher is continuing to prove that he and the Flyers are the class of the league, though I suppose we should be grateful he hasn't bitten anyone yet. Though what can you expect from a team whose fans boo "O Canada"? And speaking of class:

Flyers bad boy Steve Downie got the crowd going again near the end of the first period, tripping Price behind the net and attracting several Canadiens as a melee ensued. The crowd once again showed its IQ level when it shouted "U-S-A, U-S-A," during the fight. Their hero, Downie, is from Newmarket, Ont.

Nice to see that we didn't let Biron off with a shutout at least, and Koivu continues to impress with both his talent and he drive, but we need more goals and we need more toughness on the forechecking. And Downie should get thumped everytime he steps on the ice next game.

Price was clearly rattled by the first goal and Carbo did the right thing to pull him in the third, although since the Flyers only had two shots on net in the period thanks to the extended powerplay, Halak wasn't really tested. Price will come back and shut out the Flyers on Thursday -- he hates to lose. Just ask Boston about game seven.

I guess hippies don't sue

Sorry to have stiffed you on the weekend entertainment videos this week, but I've been getting up early to watch hockey via dodgy internet streams (and yes, I feel Tom Kostopoulos was an excellent choice for Spiritual Leader of the Moment. Three goals all season and now three goals in the playoffs, including the overtime winner in the opening game against the Flyers. 'Nuff said!) but while catching the latest in North American commercials I was aghast to see the ad for this product:

At first I thought it was an update on the old Sy Sperling ads. The TV commercial features clean cut corporate types of a certain age with facelifts, capped teeth and a hint of salt and pepper at the temples cavorting with hip twentysomethings - surfing, hiking, playing electric guitar with a hot young blonde hanging off one shoulder.

It is hair dye for aging boomers "It's for the generation that swore it would never get old. And didn't." That rumbling sound you hear is Jerry Garcia rolling over in his extra wide grave.

Now, I know it is just me being closed minded and judgemental, so feel free to harsh on me in the comments, but I'm always a bit suspicious of men who dye their hair. It just seems vain and dishonest in men in a way that it doesn't for women. Maybe it goes back to Ronald Reagan, maybe it goes back to the subverting of one of my childhood heroes:

thus, it all returns to hockey.

And then there were eight

There are no easy, sure bets in the second round of this year's NHL playoffs, though I feel a lot more confident about picking winners in the East than I do in the West. And based on my success in the first round, in which I called only one series in the right number of games (though I did pick six of eight winning teams) any bets you lay based on my advice better be money you can get along without.

Detroit vs Colorado
Goaltending may tell the tale here - If either side gets an exceptional performance between the pipes, it could be the defining factor. I'd give Detroit the edge on the strength of their blueline corps, but then again they did give up two games to the Predators. Detroit has some younger legs on offense and more depth, despite the Av's gang of stars from days gone by who can still do the job like Sakic and Forsberg. This will be a good, hard fought series: I'd say Detroit in six close games, but probably the most likely series to see an upset.

San Jose vs Dallas
Two teams I've never liked, so I don't care who wins. The Sharks look good on paper, but should have taken Calgary apart and didn't. They needed to get oldtimer Jeremy Roenick - a healthy scratch earlier - dressed to show them how to do it. Joe Thornton is not to be underated either, though his previous playoff record is not overly impressive this could be his year. Add to that a young, inexperienced Dallas defence missing Sergei Zubov and the Sharks look good, on paper. But Dallas just finished off last year's cup winner in six games and look hungry and Brad Richards seems to gotten back on track. This could be another close one, but I'll go with the Sharks in seven.

Pittsburgh vs New York
This is going to be an entertaining series. New York has the offense it needs to beat the Penguins and a solid goalie who, if he gets hot, could stone the twin snipers that are Crosby and Malkin. With the aforementioned two, the Penns have the offensive edge. The series could turn on special teams and which team's less than great defensemen have better series, but my money is on Sid the Kid being able to beat Lundqvist. Barring an injury to one of Pittsbergh's big guns, it will be the Penguins in six

Montreal vs Philadelphia
Obviously you know where my sympathies lie, but the this is the series I feel the most confident picking a winner for a number of reasons. The Flyers' offense is overly reliant on Briere, who won't be able to hear himself think in Montreal for the booing everytime he steps on the ice. Add to that the Habs' tough forechecking and of course Carey Price being unbeatable when he is having an "on" night. And I pity the goon who tries to run the goalie in this series, something the Flyers like to do and have done in each of the four games they have lost to the Habs this season. Koivu is back to lead the team and after the close-call with Boston they are unlikely to be overconfident or lax. Add to that the history of the two teams all the way back to the mid-70s finesse-versus-fisticuffs matchups and the pregame benchclearers of the 80s when Gainey and Carboneau were still on the ice -- the Flyers are team the Habs like to beat. Montreal has a faster team with more depth on the scoring chart and more finesse, while the Flyers have Briere, Prospal and a bunch of thugs like Downie and Cote. It could well be a chippy couple of games to start the series and if that's case, I like the Canadiens' chances even more, because we can and will outmuscle them as well as skate rings around them. Shades of '76 indeed!
Allowing for Price to have a couple more off nights, the Habs will ground the Flyers in six

The Price is Right

While he had me worried with a couple of bad nights late last week, what can you say about a goalie who racks up two shutouts in the first round? Or about a guy like our Spiritual Leader of the Moment who, after scoring three goals all season, racks up two goals in his first playoff series? And how about Mark Streit scoring a sweet, sweet goal while playing with a sore hip or the nails-wish-they-were-this-tough Captain K returning to his playmaking ways while skating on a broken foot? And the brothers Kostitsyn? And Steve "he's here, he's there, he's everywhere" Begin? What can you say but Vive les Habitants!

 A note to my fellow fans in Montreal: I know it was a tense series, but this was only the opening round. Calm down, or the finals are going to have to be played under martial law.

(graphic shamelessly stolen from Eyes on the Prize, the source for all things Habs)

Tom Kostopoulos (No.6) is congratulated by his teammates after scoring his first-ever playoff goal in the Canadiens' win over the Boston Bruins on Thursday.

Real Hockey and a new Spiritual leader of the Moment!

Forget the nonsense about him getting into a scrap with the cops down in Florida at the Habs rookie dinner while defending a team mate in a misunderstanding with the cops. Tom the Bomb Nonstopoulos is our new Spiritual Leader of the Moment because of this story.

Prior to yesterday's first round win against the Boston Bruins (One down, 15 to go), in which No. 6 scored his first playoff goal and got his first playoff point with a assist on the Canadiens right winger and all around grinder got invited to a different kind of warm up for the opening game of this year's playoffs. Some kids rang his doorbell Monday and invited him out play some street hockey. Now this is guy making a pile of money to play a sport and who obviously has to take his game seriously. He got his sneakers and stick and got out the door as fast as he could and spent the day playing with a crowd of 30-40 kids in Nuns Island where he lives.

Kostopoulos is not a star,  he's a fourth line grinder who in 68 games this season, only managed 13 points.  Last night he had a goal, an assist, five hits and was generally a menace to the Bruins all night long. That's why the Canadiens are going all the way this year, guys like him. He is basically the team's muscle along the boards - lead the team in hits in March and tops the list in penalty minutes- but he lead the offense last night. His first goal with the Canadiens back in November was a shorthanded goal against Philly.  He had two other short handed goals in a season where he only scored seven times on 98 shots. The last time the Habs played Boston he got a Gordie Howe hat-trick (A goal, an assist, and a fight) This is a guy who steps up when he's needed. He's got heart. 

If  bunch of kids knocked on Barry Bonds' door a couple of days before the World's Series looking for a game of sandlot sweep and scrub, do you think he would go along? Hockey is different and Kostopoulos is a hockey guy. Here's a song for him.

Playoffs start tonight

taken from the damned fine Habs site Eyes on the Prize

April - no longer the cruelest month

Unless you happen to live in Boston, that is.
I won't jinx things by saying that this is the year the Canadiens win their 25th Stanley Cup and 24th NHL Championship (they won their first cup in 1916, the year before the NHL was formed) but despite their own captain's predictions it's been a very good year so far.

First round match up and predictions:

East

Montreal vs Boston - Is this even in question? Even with Montreal's Saku Koivu sidelined with a broken foot, Montreal pretty much owns Boston in the playoffs, beating them in 23 of 30 post-season series and taking all eight games from them this season. Montreal in four.

Pittsburgh vs Ottawa - Pittsburgh has Syd Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, while Ottawa is missing Daniel Alfredsson and role-player Mike Fisher. Ottawa had a good season before stumbling in the stretch and barely making the playoffs, while Pittsburgh, despite a so-so defence, finished a very strong second to the Habs. Assuming Pens goalie Marc-Andre Fleury doesn't fall apart more than once or twice Pittsburgh ought to win this one. Pittsburgh in five.

Washington vs Philidelphia - Philly could win this if they can shut down Alex Ovechkin and Sergi Federov goes back into hibernation. And as a friend of mine likes to say, if you aunt had balls she's be your uncle. Washington ended the season by winning 11 of 12 games and they have a very strong goalie in Christobel Huet. Philidelphia, eh...not so much - Martin Biron has it in him to be a good goalie, but as numerous scouting reports and pundit predictions point out, plays lousy when he has to play back-to-back games. Washington in five.

New Jersey vs New York - The Devils finished ahead of the Rangers (just) and have Martin Brodeur, one of the best playoff goalies ever. The Rangers on the other hand took seven of eight games off the Devils this season. Both teams are solid defensively so this could come down to a lot of 2-1 games. Based on the track record for the season, it's New York, but NJ has a tendency to do well in tight spots so this one is tough to call. New York in seven

West

Detroit vs Nashville - Detroit took the regular season title 24 points ahead of Nashville. The Predators won five of their last six to make the playoffs and aren't a bad team, but they are totally outclassed by the Red Wings. Detroit in four

San Jose vs Calgary - As much as I'd love to see Calgary go all the way to the finals just so Montreal can whip their asses and make heads explode across Texas north (I'm sure they would find a way to blame it on Stephane Dion), San Jose has a juggernaut since the trade deadline. The Sharks have lots of offensive punch led by Joe Thornton with plenty of secondary scorers, whereas once you get past Jarome Iginla, the Flames don't have much in the way of big scorers. Both side have good goaltending, but a collapse between the pipes for either side would be a disaster because neither goalie is playing behind a stellar blueline corps. San Jose in five.

Minnesota vs. Colorado - Minnesota's had a good year but lack the depth on offense that Colorado has with vets like Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic. If Jose Theodore plays well, Minnesota is doomed. Colorado in six.

Anaheim vs Dallas - Anaheim is not a drastically different team from the one that won the cup last year. Their goaltending is solid and they have a very stingy defense and with Teemu Selanne back in the line up may start scoring some goals. Besides Dallas has sucked hard for the last month and the addition of Brad Richards hasn't worked out anything like as well as the Stars had hoped. Anaheim in 6.

Leave your prediction or criticisms in the comments. Habs-haters will be treated with the respect they deserve, ie: Much the way a dog treats a fire hydrant.


Update: Scott Lemieux has his picks posted over at Lawyers, Guns and Money, along with the predictions of the World's Most Dangerous Professor

he gets it

An American hockey writer who gets it? Will wonders never cease?

Hard-luck Habs and the midget of doom
Hockey season is over, let the playoffs commence -- Not that I care who wins Lord's Stanley's punchbowl this time around as Les Habitants, despite a great start and strong finish to the season, have missed the playoffs at the hands of the hated Leafs. As proof that God or the ghost of Clarence Campbell has a sense of humor, the Leafs are also being sent to the golf course -- by the woeful New York Islanders (Have they even made the playoffs since the days of Dennis Potvin, Mike Bossy, Bryan Trottier, Clark Gillies and Billy Smith?). The Canadiens showed a lot of heart in the stretch this year-- just look at the performance of Saku Koivu in the last two weeks, a better clutch player you will not find --and the way the squad has gelled under its new coach (with the exception of the profoundly disappointing Sergi Samsonov) but not enough to overcome the midseason losing streak that saw them fall from third to also ran in the space of about a month. If we just had a little more offense...

In other revolting developments, Tokyo tiny perfect fuehrer won relection Sunday, and by a sizable margin. Expect him to propose that the city declare war on China sometime next week and for the likes of me to rounded up and put in a camp in Ueno Park sometime by the end of the month.

Of course, it could be worse. I could be riding around Afghanistan like these six men were when the road exploded. My sympathies to their families and friends and my thanks to them for their sacrifice.