"Where else would you go when you have an ax to grind?"

Showing posts with label Jebusland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jebusland. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

That's funny, I don't remember anything about "blessed are the ass-kickers" in the Sermon on the Mount

So much for turning the other cheek I guess.

From the New York Times:



Flock Is Now a Fight Team in Some Ministries
MEMPHIS — In the back room of a theater on Beale Street, John Renken, 42, a pastor, recently led a group of young men in prayer.
“Father, we thank you for tonight,” he said. “We pray that we will be a representation of you.”
An hour later, a member of his flock who had bowed his head was now unleashing a torrent of blows on an opponent, and Mr. Renken was offering guidance that was not exactly prayerful.
“Hard punches!” he shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!”
The young man was a member of a fight team at Xtreme Ministries, a small church near Nashville that doubles as a mixed martial arts academy. Mr. Renken, who founded the church and academy, doubles as the team’s coach. The school’s motto is “Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.”


I guess their version of Jesus is the Prince of You-want-a-Piece-of-this? or something like that.


I see they also solicited a comment from Dobson the Younger, though I'm not sure what the hell Christian Fight Club has to do with the man being the "head of the household" unless Mr. Macho is advocating kickboxing the wife into submission. Golly, what do you suppose the odds are of a spike in domestic violence among the attendees of these little faith-based sparring sessions?

His contention that America has "raised a generation of little boys" is pretty funny coming as it does from a leather-jacketed, tattooed, perpetual adolescent who spent his twenties and thirties surfing, skateboarding and championing "X-treme Christianity"and now at forty relies on daddy for his living.

I guess his dad, the head of Focus on the Family, was too busy whipping his Dachshund (and no, that is not a euphemism, but it should be) to teach his son that his head was useful for something other than butting people in the chops.

I guess the meek better not get their hopes up.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Crazy by any other name is still crazy

Amid Haiti's decent into Hell, we see our old friends Pat "Gays caused 9/11" Robertson and Rush "Take the bone out of your nose" Limbaugh once again overflowing with the rancid milk of compassionate conservatism.

From CNN:


Robertson, the host of the "700 Club," blamed the tragedy on something that "happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it."
The Haitians "were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever," Robertson said on his broadcast Wednesday. "And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' "
Native Haitians defeated French colonists in 1804 and declared independence.
"You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other."

Video here


Not to be outdone, Limbaugh, the secular Tweedledum to Robertson's Tweedledee, said the whole Trying-to-save-some-lives-Haiti thing was just a political stunt by Barack Obama:

From TPM

Limbaugh, on the other hand, suggested that the Obama administration would use contributions to the Red Cross to gather information about donors.
"Would you trust that the money is going to go to Haiti?" Limbaugh said. "Would you trust that your name is going to end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?"
He also said Obama was so quick to begin assistance to Haiti in order to boost his "credibility with the black community, in the both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country."




Now, I've calmed down sufficiently since first reading these comments that I no longer advocate nailing Pat Robertson's testicles to a plank and nailing the plank to a slow moving train crawling through Port-Au-Prince, though I think the Rude Pundit might be onto a good way to make the gruesome twosome of some use.

I've argued elsewhere (comment 32) that everyone has their role to play in society, even if only as a bad example - In the case of Rush Limbaugh for instance, we at least have a walking, waddling, talking, bloviating, living specimen of the perfect braying asshole, a textbook example of the kind of person you can point to and say to your kids, "Don't ever be like that."

Reasonable people can disagree as to whether Rush's mouth should, in the immortal words of Wammo, simply be filled in with cement -- I know, there's that whole "freedom of speech" thing to consider, but in the case of Pat Robertson I have to ask: If his constantly hyperoffensive comments weren't couched in religious terms, wouldn't he be in an institution by now?

How crazy does someone have to be before the authorities come around and throw a net over them? If he were blaming the earthquake in Haiti on giant cockroaches from Venus or claiming the voices in his head were those of the mole-people living under Idaho communicating with him telepathically, he would have been put away by now in a little room and dress in a nice white coat with extra-long sleeves. But since he ties all his crazy to Jesus and has managed to convince a bunch of idiots to send him a lot of money, our society doesn't consider him mentally ill.

It seems as long as you claim it's a matter of religious belief, you can pretty much do or say whatever you want, whether it's marry a half-dozen 15-year-olds, beat your spouse, refuse to eat pork, eschew the use of technology, keep and handle poisonous snakes or wage war to ethnically cleanse a patch of desert you claim is promised to you in your holy book. No one dares to call you crazy, no one is allowed to snicker at your heartfelt belief that the position of the entrails of the dead bird foretell the future or that the bread and wine magically become the body of a long dead teacher.

As long as you can tie your particular brand of crazy to a religion, you aren't a fruitcake, you're a "person of faith."

Don't misunderstand me, I don't necessarily think that anyone who believes in a god or gods is necessarily crazy or that all religious belief must be stamped out - I'm merely questioning why the western notion of religious freedom that originally meant that the state would not dictate
which church you wouldl be forced to attend or ban minority religions has somehow come to be a free pass for all manner of anti-social behavior. I don't care if your religion tell you not to eat shellfish or get an abortion or have your body put up on a pillar to eaten by vultures when you die, but as soon as your beliefs start to impinge on others, whether through denying blood transfusions to children too young to make a properly informed decision or harrassing people entering Red Lobster (or Planned Parenthood) or banning books from libraries because they contain words or ideas that offend your religious sensibilities or burning "witches" --your right to religious tolerance ends.

Do you think Al-Quaida would be able to recruit people to blow themselves up for purely secular reasons? Would society have put up with an organization that protected serial child-rapists if that organization had been a network of peewee hockey leagues instead of the Catholic Church? Why is it that celebrity pastor Rick Warren's megachurch doesn't have to pay taxes whether it makes a profit or not, but the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders must prove they aren't turning a profit in order to keep their tax-free status?

Some would argue that religious organizations of whatever denomination or affliation offer spiritual and emotional comfort to people in their lives, but, I would argue, so do distilleries, movie theaters, brothel and the Grateful Dead. Why should churches get a tax break?

If some guy in the park tell you he gets radio messages in his head from the 23rd dimension or that he hears the voice of Nicolai Tesla or Napoleon in his head telling him to do things, or that he can give people he doesn't like cancer just by thinking about it or put a curse on you, you rightly assume that he is probably schizophrenic or suffering from some other form of mental illness. But George Bush, the Pope and Pat Robertson - and thousands, if not millions, of others - all claim to that god has spoken to them and that He has answered their prayers or guided their actions or cured someone's illness at their request and they are respected, even lauded, for their faith and piety.

It is enough to make one question our societal commitment to science and reason.


"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh"
-Robert Heinlein




Still, it is reassuring to see that some people have their priorities in order. What a fiend we have in Jesus!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

From the desk of Sen. John McCain

Dear crazy Jesus freaks Friends at inJesus.com

I know I said I wanted your help to become president and continue to carry out the Lord's work just the way our beloved President Bush has done. I even picked one of your own as my running mate to try to buy your loyalty. I know you sincerely believe all this stuff and can quote me chapter and verse in the Scriptures to support your belief. But here's the thing: Most people in America are base sinners who don't understand the threat that witches and satanism actually pose, in fact most of them think Spiritual Warfare is the stuff of cheesy horror movies and the sorts of games with all the books and dice those weird, nerdy kids in high school used to play. I'm trying to win an election here people, so I as much as I appreciate your prayers and other efforts to fight Nigerian witchcraft on my behalf, do you think you could kind of keep it on the down low?
Thanks
your pal in Jesus,
Sen. John McCain

H/T the Wingnutterer

Monday, January 21, 2008

Theocrats gone wild

With apologies to Jon Stewart and the Daily Show, here is your International Moment of Zen Theocratic Wingnuttery:

Former Arkansas Governor and clergyman Mike Huckabee speaking to a crowd of the faithful at Jerry Falwell's Liberty "University":

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2007/12/what-huckabee-a.html

About 50 minutes into it, a student asks Huckabee "what do you attribute this surge (in polls) to?"
"There's only one explanation for it, and it's not a human one," Huckabee says. "It's the same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of 5,000 people.
"And that's the only way that our campaign could be doing what it's doing. And I'm not being facetious nor am I trying to be trite.
"There literally are thousands of people across this country who are praying that a little will become much. And it has. And it defies all explanation it has confounded the pundits and I'm enjoying every moinute of their trying to figure it out and until they look at it in a" -- here he motions in a God-like heavenly manner -- "just, experience beyond human, they'll never figure it out. That's honestly why it's happening."

Sunday, July 01, 2007

How the other half "thinks"
A must read post on a dangerous religious fruitcake over at Recursivity: Kirk Durston: Apologist for Genocide
Mr. Durston says that genocide is ohkey-dokey as long as the little voice in his head he presumes to be god says it's all right. I expect Charlie Manson said the same thing.
(via Canadian Cynic)

Monday, June 11, 2007

Seal the borders, NOW!
This kind of stupidity could be contagious. Don't misinterpret me, I don't think that belief in God should disqualify one from holding high office, but I do think that disbelief in science should. If you are superstitious enough to believe, despite mountains of empirical scientific evidence to the contrary, theat we humans were put here in our present form as a species less than 10,000 years ago by your mystical Sky Daddy, then you are denying basic empirical evidence. If you really believe this, I have no reason to trust that you wouldn't go along if the pope or Pat Robertson told you gravity was just God pushing down on your shoulders and that airplanes could fly because He chose not to push down on them. Would you hire a person who believed that to design aircraft? Or teach biology or physics?

From the linked USA Today/Gallup poll:

23.Next, we'd like to ask about your views on two different explanations for the origin and development of life on earth. Do you think Evolution, that is, the idea that human beings developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life is:

Definitely true 18%
Probably true 35%
Probably false 16 %
Definitely false 28%
No opinion 3%
Total true 53%
Total false 44%

B. Creationism, that is, the idea that God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years is:

Definitely true 39%
Probably true 27%
Probably false 16%
Definitely false 15%
No opinion 3 %
Total true 66%
Total false 31%

I suppose the difference between the percentage that are sure evolution is definitely false and the percent that are sure creationism is definitely true represents those who cling to intelligent design to try to put a faux scientific gloss on their superstition, but the notion that there is a core of about 30% or more that are just plain willfully ignorant is more than a little disturbing.

Monday, May 21, 2007


The devil made him do it

A male comedian dressed up like a woman saying "the devil made me do it" in a comedy routine is funny.

A fundamentalist Christian teenage mother using it to defend her teenage would-be preacher's attempt to roast their toddler alive-- ehhh, not so much.
More progressive parenting in Jebusland:


Woman blames devil, not husband for burning daughter in microwave
May 20, 2007, 12:45PM

© 2007 The Associated Press