We have a special guest

Members of the congregation, your attention please! We have our first ever guest post from none other than our spiritual leader of the moment aka Our Man in Abiko:

Dearly beloved, agents provocateur, lost sheep, members of the choir and the Rev. Paperboy,

Our Man wanted to make the purpose of this sermon crystal clear lest there be any ambiguity. He is not speaking to you in his capacity as Spiritual Leader of the Moment, a moment he might add has gone on for far too long already, but as just another shadowy internet silhouette flogging yet another ebook. 

That said, he trusts you will appreciate that he won't actually get round to the point of self-promotion until the very end of this post, in the meantime, he proposes to wrap himself in the flag of the greater good, as all great authors do when they are invited to wax lyrical about their area of expertise and just happen to mention that their latest overpriced literary doorstopper is available from this website here or that stack-em-high emporium there, if you'd just like to sign up for an email junk mail feed newsletter...

No. He will not do that. Instead he will tell you a little story.

Once upon a time there was a journeyman journo who decided to jump from his minor position in a small time provincial UK paper before he was pushed big time. He ended up back in Japan teaching English by day and writing twisted, drunken and occasionally funny blog posts by night. He didn't have much to say, but he enjoyed saying it. And little by little, he built up a small but well-connected following. He didn't know where it was going, but he hoped it would somehow benefit him in the future for his highly unoriginal and equally unlikely goal of publishing a novel.

Then the earthquake struck on March 11th, 2011, and although he was on the outskirts of the disaster, away from any newsroom and far from Fukushima or the tsunami zones, a dormant journalistic instinct woke up long enough to bite him in his his ass in the shower one morning, a week after the quake:

I've got email. I've got a (bootleg) word processor program. I've got a twitter feed. I'll edit a book of earthquake experiences and flog it to raise money for charity. In a week.

So he did. The rest is history. How exactly the $50,000 raised was spent by the Japan Red Cross, he doesn't know. Exactly how many copies of the book have been sold, he doesn't know. How much genuine suffering was relieved by the book, he has no idea.

But he does know this: It was absolutely worth doing. As an imperfect record of the impact of the earthquake on a nation -- absolutely. As a way for folk to express their true feelings -- absolutely. As an expression of what is possible by anyone with a good idea and a twitter feed -- absolutely.

As a tool for self-promotion? Absolutely not.

And yet, here he is rehashing his glory days on Quakebook. Isn't that a form of selling out and cashing in? He hopes it isn't. 

In his defence he can only say this: that bloody earthquake was the biggest thing to happen to Japan in his lifetime. And Our Man was there. He still is. To not write about the biggest event in a generation for fear that someone might think he was cashing in was as absurd as a relief worker refusing to give out any of 25 bags of rice because there were 30 people starving. To write for free is not tenable, not for a pro, no matter how middling and imperfect he may be. 

The only absolute purity is in doing nothing.

Our Man is not about doing nothing. If you are interested in the story of a half-British, half-Japanese natto-loving ramen waitress helping an American father search for his abducted daughter in Japan in the days of the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown, Our Man has just the book for you. If you are not; if you think this is cashing in, then please, in all seriousness, do not buy Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46.

Much obliged, my fellow lost sheep, now back to your regular moral leader, the Reverend Paperboy.

Our Man in Abiko

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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

The level of Star Wars geekdom involved in this bends the needle. I mean, writing the parody lyrics is one thing, even the notion of making it a rock opera. But making a seriously high quality video of it? This is a super sized, extra-large order of hot Star Wars geek-love with a side order of deep-fried ewok

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Video killed the radio star

Yeah, we've got you coming and going on the whole music thing this weekend. Just click on the control bar above the radio to pause the music stream and have a look at some music videos.

These first few were suggested by regular reader and hero of the revolution the esteemed Rev. Dr. Democommie  DD, MBE Esq. who has a penchant for Canuckistani roots music.









In response to Comrade Democommie's suggestion, I have a few of my own.



Check out the killer pedal steel guitar by regular reader Stephen from Olde Berlin

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Winter is coming, but it isn't coming fast enough

No, this is not a weather post. The weather in Southern Ontario has been great lately, hail storms notwithstanding. It has been in the mid 30s C, a little humid, but nothing compared to August in Tokyo.
Those in the know will get the reference. I've recently passed on to Mrs. Rev.Paperboy my addiction to the terrific, if slightly cheesy, epic fantasy series Game of Thrones. She watched the first season this week and will likely cruise through the second season next week. Then both of us will go into withdrawal until season three hits the small screen sometime next year. Thank goodness "The Hobbitt" will be out later this year to tide us over.
In the meantime, I whole heartedly agree with Paul & Storm:


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four chords and the truth

The scary part is that they are entirely correct.

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Contemptuous and contemptible

A lot of people are claiming the immigration and citizenship minister Jason Kenney's "Asshole-gate" is a tempest in a teapot and now that Kenney has phoned Alberta deputy premier Tom Lukaszuk to apologize for calling him an asshole in an email to CPC caucus members, we should forget the whole thing.
Not so fast.
Let me stipulate that I am hardly one to clutch my pearls and stumble toward the fainting couch wailing "won't somebody think of the precious, precious children?" any time anyone uses forceful language. Fuck no, I'm all for a "free and frank exchange of ideas" as we used to call them at one place I worked. Strong, even profane language is a vital part of the communications tool kit and it has a valid role to play even in public discourse and the workplace.
And I'm not disagreeing with Jason Kenney's characterization of Lukaszuk. I've never met him, maybe he is a "complete and utter asshole." He is a conservative politician, after all, so what are the odds? I know Kenney and some of his fellow Reform Party refugees had hoped for the more extreme socially conservative right-wing Wild Rose Party to displace the conservative, right-wing Progressive Conservative Party in Alberta and I know how they tend to throw tantrums when the people fail to give them what they want at the ballot box, but as the conservatives like to point out when they win, elections have consequences.
No, my complaint is the complete and utter lack of judgement shown by Kenney in expressing such strong, negative and especially personal opinions about a prominent senior member of a provincial government.
This isn't one guy calling another guy a name in the bar after a few beers, or even politicians speaking frankly around the confidential cabinet table, this is a minister of the crown using an obscenity to describe the deputy premier to other members of parliament. It publicly demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect for both the office and the people of Alberta.
I might think someone in my office or someone my company does business with is an asshole, and I might even mention that opinion to other people I work with, but I certainly don't put that kind of assessment down in writing in any kind of business report, letter, memo, email, phone message or even a lousy post-it note. People are routinely fired for such stupidity.
This speaks also to a larger issue of character. Looking at the kind of buffoons, knuckle-draggers, weasels and flat-out crooks the Prime Minister chooses to surround himself with, you have to wonder after a while if these are really the sort of people we really want running the country.
Consider:

• The PM's parliamentary secretary Dean Del Mastro is currently being investigated for illegal campaign spending and all indicators are that he will eventually face charges. This is the same MP that was the government's point man in trying to deny and mislead over the ongoing robocall vote-suppression scandal.
• The PM's former top adviser Bruce Carson was convicted of five counts of fraud before coming to work for Stephen Harper.
•  Public Safety Minister Vic Toews is an admitted serial adulterer.
•  Bev Oda, in addition to her love of taxpayer funded luxury, also likes to alter documents.
• Maxime Bernier likes to pal around with people who have ties to biker gangs.
• Defense Minister Peter McKay seems to think the Canadian Forces are his personal taxi service.
• The Conservative Party of Canada itself was found to have broken the election financing laws in the In-and-Out scandal
• The entire government was declared in contempt of Parliament , an unprecedented event, sparking the last election

This is by no means an exhaustive list either. I haven't mentioned the G20 Gazebo slush-fund, former PM aide Keith Beardsley violation of lobbying rules,  former conservative caucus leader Rahim Jaffer's breaking of lobbying rules (who could forget the 'busty hookers and coke' stories?) and so many, many other ethical transgressions.
And we haven't discussed the things they have been getting done to for Canadians either, like doing their best to defund rival parties, getting rid of the court challenges program, proroguing Parliament to avoid confidence votes and scrutiny of probable war crimes, running the most secretive government in modern Canadian history (the Parliamentary budget office can't even get info from the government on how it is spending our money), gagging public servants, willfully gutting environmental protections and the general tone of vengeful rat-bastardism of the current government.
The Conservative Party of Canada is not interested in good governance, social justice or what is good for the country as a whole. They are interested in getting and keeping power, lining the pockets of their supporters in the oil and finance industries, comforting the comfortable and stepping on the throat of any who would attempt to challenge them.
Kenney's sneering rudeness and lack of judgement is just the latest example of the party's entitled arrogance and contempt for all outside their fascist cadre.


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Chapter IV: A New Hope

Now that Team Coyne's campaign for the Liberal leadership has come out into the light, one wonders if we can convince Parliamentary process expert, ace thumb-typer, tireless CBC news minx and hat enthusiast Kady O'Malley to run against him. With competition like this, Justin Trudeau might decide to run after all. Certainly any of the three would be more likely to get my vote than John Manley.

And for what it is worth, I bristle at both the notion that Justin Trudeau would be some sort of saviour for the Liberal Party of Canada, and at the outright dismissal of him by pundits such as Coyne. Justin Trudeau has shown himself to be a thoughtful, conscientious and hard working MP. Yes, he has showboated a bit, but mostly because the media demands of it of him. People have been mentioning him as a possible Liberal leader ever since he delivered the eulogy  at his father's funeral.
Certainly, he has charisma aplenty, but he also has a sense of civic responsibility and dare I say it, nobless oblige. People can and will complain that the last Canada needs is a hereditary political dynasty like the Kennedys or Bushes south of the border, but as legacy politicos go, we could do whole a lot worse that Justin Trudeau.
After all, this is someone who was born to wealth and power and could have done anything he wanted. He chose to teach public high school in Vancouver for a few years and then work for environmental causes. His political career has seen him continue to fight for the environment and for programs like Katimavik that turn out engaged, public-minded young Canadians. He has shown himself to be honest, open and on the side of the angels on just about any issue you care to name.
I don't think he is going to be any kind of political messiah, but I think the Liberal Party of Canada could do a lot worse.

In other news, thanks again to the wonderful work of the McMaher, the odious Dean Del Mastro appears to be headed for a world of suck. People have gone to jail for much less than this sort of corruption. Maybe those new prisons weren't such a bad idea after all. We gonna need room for more CPC politicos than just Del Mastro and Pierre Poutine in the long run.


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My father taught me so much

and I'm passing it all on to my kids in just this way.

I should hasten to add that my dad taught me to love the Montreal Canadiens, the Cleveland Indians, the great outdoors, good newspapering, good wine and so many, many other good things. Thanks, Dad.
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108 years ago today

Mr. Joyce taught the band to play...
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Too true

Shamelessly stolen from Stephen Lautens, who has many many more over on the twitter thing where he can be found under @stephenlautens or on his blog here, here, here and here. Collect the whole set! Trade'em with your friends!
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Will you come back if the Habs make the playoffs next year?

Legendary sportswriter Red Fisher announced his retirement this morning after 58 years of covering the Montreal Canadiens.
Just when I was about to maybe have the chance to say I edited his stories -- drat and damnation.
M'learned colleague Dave Stubbs (of whom you may also have heard) wrote a very nice piece on Red today as did Jack Todd. To dine at at Moishe's with Red Fisher is about as Montreal as it gets without involving an actual Canadiens star and/or Mordechai Richler, a smoked meat sandwich and a Trudeau.


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This blog post kills fascists

I guess you could call this a companion piece to this post

 

Woody Guthrie would have turned 100 years old on July 12 this year.
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Doc Watson - RIP

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Make a little noise

I don't think this is about tuition hikes anymore.


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Back on the air

As you can hear (automatically, if you don't want to hear, just go to your right and hit the pause button) Radio Woodshed is back on the air after a long hiatus. We will be broadcasting pretty much 24/7 with cleverly compiled playlists and occasional forays into live DJing (I'll even take requests via twitter). I know the sound quality is kinda lame right now, but we will fix that ASAP.

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But the boomers were 'entitled to their entitlements'

Nice piece by John Moore in the National Post on just who is and is not whining about entitlement.

Setting aside the fact that this intergenerational hectoring dates back to Socrates, let us ask: Who exactly is making the charge? Quebec has had low tuition rates for a half century. That means almost every living adult in the province, having already been afforded a plum goodie, is now wagging his finger at the first generation that will be asked to pay the tab. So who really is entitled here?

And a nicer piece on why he wrote it. (link mine)

I wrote the column because for three days in a row I was on radio and television with panels of angry men who make six figure salaries complaining about all these horrible kids and all these awful lazy unemployed people who don't want to move to find work. I am not siding with the students but I just don't want to be one of those men. That same genus grumbled its way through the sixties, indignant about young people who were too selfish to die in Viet Nam. They also spent the 1890s fighting reforms to get kids out of factories and into schools. What was the point of educating them when they were just going to go back to a factory anyway?

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Credit where credit is due

Hurray for Constable Bubbles. He has done the right thing in identifying fellow police officers who are accused of breaking the law. More cops should do the same.
That it is considered exceptional or noteworthy behaviour for a police officer to report illegal activity when other police officers are involved speaks volumes about the state of modern policing.
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No bad jobs, just lazy Canadians

 “There is no bad job. The only bad job is not having a job.You do what you have to do to make a living.”
-Finance Minister Jim Flaherty 

(WARNING: As with most things related to Jim Flaherty, the following is decidedly not safe for work, unless you work in the porn industry, organized crime, politics or the media)





‘There’s a group of Canadians who need a nudge back into the workforce.’
-Dan Kelly, The Canadian Federation of Independent Business

Yes, Dan Kelly, that what is holding so many unemployed people back from resuming happy, successful careers - they just need a little nudge to take that no-benefits, minimum-wage job scrubbing toilets or flipping burgers instead of sitting around on their Master's degree and 15 years of job experience and waiting for that crappy entry-level office clerk or call centre job to open up. 

All those people who used to have good jobs making widgets or keeping the paperwork flowing or providing important services just need to accept their new lot in life as overqualified occasional office temps now that senior management has closed the plant or cut the department or reorganized to make the company "leaner and meaner" so that the stockholders can get that extra half a percentage point added to the value of their portfolio. 

Yes, there is dignity in all work. As long as we have strong labour standards laws, that much won't change. But the idea that any but a miniscule number of people are content spending their lives working just long enough to qualify for EI and then quitting to collect pogey until it runs out is idiotic. It is a notion that is popular among a certain group of people - those who have never been out of work for a significant amount of time.

Making the unemployed jump through more hoops to keep from ending up homeless and starving will not bring back those widget-making and paper-pushing jobs. Making it tougher for people to survive the ebb and flow of business cycles and casino capitalism will not help them find work or improve the economy.  

You know who really needs a nudge back into the workforce? Investors, venture capitalists, business owners and other wealthy people who don't work for a living anymore. Those people who are absolutely certain that the folks relying on food banks to feed their kids are just lazy and living it up on their dime. Those people who, having made a fortune of some size with the help of publicly-educated workers, tax-funded transportation networks, government subsidies to business, state-imposed copyright and patent protection, consumer protection and workplace safety rules that keep them out of the same tax-funded courts that allow them to enforce contracts and punish those who would steal from them, think they made that fortune completely on their own and that it is outrageous that they should  pay more taxes than someone who is barely making ends meet. Those people who think they shouldn't have to pay to fund the school system because they send their kids to private schools. Those people need to be nudged out of their comfort zone.

They need to spend a month waiting tables and living in a studio apartment with two kids. They need to work three mornings a week at Walmart and nights at 7/11 and deliver pizzas in-between to make the rent. They need to work a couple or three 12-hour shifts catching chickens or stocking shelves overnight. They need to spend a few weeks riding the bus two hours each way to their job washing dishes or cleaning hotel rooms. They need to live on social assistance for a month. 

Some of them did some of  those things once upon a time in the distant past when we had much more generous social programs and a society in which a family could get by on one average wage paycheque. Some of them pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps and worked hard and scrimped and saved to get where they are, but now seem to want to punish people who want to do the same despite all the bootstraps having been outsourced to the third world.

A lot of them are competent at their jobs and were clever enough to excel in a profession that pays well, but now feel that they shouldn't have to pay a fair share to keep those less clever and competent or just less lucky from falling into abject poverty.

Some of those people need more than a nudge to relearn good citizenship and basic empathy, and I suspect Dan Kelly is one of them.

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Apparently you can't make a casserole without pepper

 How do you get half-a-million Montrealers into the streets when hockey season is over? Pepper-spray them off the terrace at the corner cafe.




(if the title of the post confuses you, maybe this will clear things up)
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holiday Monday is all right for uke fighting?

the original

the cover




For 14 years in Japan, this was my homesickness theme song. I even got to perform it with a local jazz band in my local pub a few times...


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